Ringing the changes on a telephone pest

THE PHONE call came that morning, just as I was leaving to drive my grandson to school. ‘Hi there. Is that Robert?’ ‘Er . . . yes,’ I hesitated. ‘May I ask who’s . . ? ‘Do you mind if I call you Robert?’ I am never my best at that time of day — and I was running late. ‘Depending on whom I’m speaking with, no,’ I replied. A chuckle. ‘My name’s Harry. You sound like a man who knows where he’s at, sir.’ Alarm bells! But before I could say more . . . ‘I think we’re on the same wavelength, you know, Robert,’ (the voice was reassuring) ‘particularly when it comes to investment. This new pension withdrawal scheme should be just up your street, Robert. Now, how does this idea sound just for starters?’ He quickly launched into a well-rehearsed spiel that would rapidly elevate me to a mention in the next issue of Forbes Magazine. ‘Er, just hold on, Harry,’ I managed finally to interrupt. ‘Sorry to stop you like that, but you appear to know your stuff, I have to say. You sound like a bright young man. You’ve obviously had a deal of experience.’ There was a hint of pride in his smiling reply: ‘Well, yes, Robert. You could say that I know my way around the commercial world. So that’s why I’m sure you’d be interested in . . .’ ‘Tell me,’ I persisted, ‘have you ever been involved in the insurance business?’ A hesitant pause on the end of the line. ‘Insurance, Robert?’ ‘Yes, Harry. They used to call it ambulance-chasing, I believe. You must know what I mean.’ The line went dead, and I drove my impatient grandson off to school. Robert Ben-Nathan, Denham, Bucks.