JONATHAN CAINER
Recently, here in this space, I’ve been getting perilously close to being boring. I’ve been rattling on about statistics and probabilities when, many might feel, I ought to have been talking about the Moon and the planets. I’ve been risking the resentment
ARIES Mar 21 — Apr 20 SALES professionals use basic human psychology. If your potential customer isn’t sure they want to make a purchase, show them someone who is happy with what they bought. Once their doubt has turned to desire, they may waver on the price. Then, offer a discount, say it is for a limited time and suggest if they aren’t quick, someone else will seize the chance that could have been theirs. Are you now playing a trick like this on yourself? If there is something you really want, just strive for it today. Looking for some good news? Dial in your date of birth for your latest spookily accurate Moon‑sign prediction. Call 0906 751 5601. TAURUS
Apr 21 — May 21 ‘ROME wasn’t built in a day.’ So goes the old saying. And if that was true in the time of pillars, porticos and pavilions, it is even more of a truism with regard to the modern construction industry. We may be able to make things faster, but we have lost the art of classic design. This brings us to today’s dilemma. Do you want something to happen quickly, or do you want a process to be completed to the highest possible standard? A ‘bit of both’ may well be the right answer, but it should be a knowing, conscious compromise. Much will improve between now and the July New Moon. I’d like to give you a reading based on your exact date of birth. Call 0906 751 5602. GEMINI May 22 — June 22 IS THERE any point
in consulting your astrologer? Has he not already told you not to trouble him with trivia, then refused to help you with the lottery? That’s a lot of negativity, and the week is only half over. Ah, but you are a persistent Gemini and there is a particular answer to a particular question that you are very keen to attain. May I ask: ‘What is your own opinion about this matter?’ Focus on what you feel is your most positive prognosis? If such an outcome seems even half reasonable, it may yet occur. Looking for good news? Dial in your date of birth for your latest spookily accurate Moon‑sign prediction. Call 0906 751 5603.
CANCER
June 23 — July 23 WHAT am I going to tell you today? You probably know already. I am tempted to get the publishers to leave the rest of the space blank. Then you can fill it with your own words. But before I make such an unconventional move, here is a question. Will you like the prediction that you write for yourself? Will it please you to read it? Will you come away inspired and uplifted or merely feeling that your worst suspicions have been confirmed? A-ha! That’s why I write them for you!
No such bad news awaits you today. Much will improve between now and the July New Moon. I’d like to give you a reading based on your exact date of birth. Call 0906 751 5604. LEO July 24 — Aug 23 YESTERDAY we asked if the
cosmos has an opinion about the kind of life we ought to live. Many believe the universe would like us all to lead happy lives. But some say: ‘It all depends on how we behave.’ They think we have to earn the reward of heavenly support or it will not be granted. That is a very big assumption. Nature does not judge — anyone or anything. Nor, if we are wise, do we. If you must reach any judgement at all today, judge yourself to be deserving of celestial support, and you will yet get it. Looking for good news? Dial in your date of birth for your latest spookily accurate Moon‑sign prediction. Call 0906 751 5605.
VIRGO
Aug 24 — Sep 23 A SMALL amount of radioactive waste can tarnish a vast landmass. And a small amount of worry can pollute the entire ocean of our intelligence. It is toxic stuff. We even have to be careful how we dispose of it. If we get too close, and accidentally mishandle the matter, we can inadvertently damage ourselves! Today, don the protective suit of faith and ignore the ticking Geiger counter of fear. Confidently and quickly, deal with a tricky situation, then think no more of it. Much will improve between now and the July New Moon. I’d like to give you a reading based on your exact date of birth. Call 0906 751 5606.
LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23
FROM an early age, we
face experiences that bring us little or no pleasure. We soon learn that if we don’t find a way to ‘put up and shut up’, we may end up enduring what we are not enjoying for even longer. Perhaps this is what gives us our strange capacity to accept the unacceptable and to keep up inexplicably unrewarding habits. But it isn’t always good to carry on doing what isn’t always so good for us! Once in a while, we have to turn around and say: ‘Right, that’s it. Time for a change!’ This is one of those times. Looking for some good news? Dial in your date of birth for your latest spookily accurate Moon‑sign prediction. Call 0906 751 5607.
SCORPIO
Oct 24 — Nov 22
WE DON’T vote for indecisive politicians. That is a shame. Often those who think they know all the answers turn out to know only all the wrong ones. Those who don’t know are at least open to making discoveries. The ‘don’t knows’ are also protected from another unpleasant experience: the feeling you get when you felt absolutely sure of something, then found, to your horror and amazement, that you were wrong! Today’s recognition of what you don’t know will yet lead to tomorrow’s priceless revelation. Much will improve between now and the July New Moon. I’d like to give you a reading based on your exact date of birth. Call 0906 751 5608.
SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21
‘I MAY not
agree with what you say but I will fight to the death to protect your entitlement to say it.’ So said Voltaire, defining the principle of free speech that still lies at the heart of democracy. This resonates well with Sagittarians, who are passionate in pursuit of candour. You probably don’t want me to say to be careful what you say — and to whom. OK, I won’t say it. That’s appropriate, too, because if you are following anyone’s orders but your own, you won’t stick to them! Looking for good news? Dial in your date of birth for your latest spookily accurate Moon‑sign prediction. Call 0906 751 5609.
CAPRICORN
Dec 22 — Jan 20
THE world is surely a wonderful place, but some things in it are much easier to appreciate than others. We can all be glad of sunshine, but unless we’ve had a drought for a long time, we may not be so quick to welcome rain. We like leisure and dislike pressure. Yet there are times when only a bout of intense activity is likely to create the momentum needed to effect a desirable change. You may not be enamoured of every aspect of an unfolding drama, but in essence, it is the right thing at the right time. Much will improve between now and the July New Moon. I’d like to give you a reading based on your date of birth. Call 0906 751 5610.
AQUARIUS
Jan 21 — Feb 19
THERE is a difference between ‘who you are’ and ‘what you are’. Yet it is a distinction we easily overlook. The latter is a temporary state, a result of circumstance or happenstance. As this may be linked to a choice we made, it can be partially argued that ‘what we are’ is a result (or at least a by-product) of ‘who we are’. But if ‘what we are’ is hungry, we can eat; if ‘what we are’ is tired, we can sleep. You can’t (and surely wouldn’t want to) change ‘who you are’ today. But ‘what you are’ can alter, if need be. Want good news? Dial in your date of birth for your latest spookily accurate Moon‑sign prediction. Call 0906 751 5611.
PISCES
Feb 20 — Mar 20
WHAT, to some, are elves and faerie folk, are known to others as nymphs and nereids. Little people with magical powers whose existence is (depending on who you talk to) fact or fantasy. Do you and I, collective co-creators of this column, seriously intend to start doubting the relevance of such creatures? We may as well question whether astrology works! In their own way, they are as real as anything in this world has a right be called real. You will yet get help from such ethereal sources today. Much improves between now and July’s New Moon. I’d like to give you a reading based on your date of birth. Call 0906 751 5612.