Don’t shun the elderly — one day YOU will need care
JUST a month after the death of his mother, Grant Feller has already decided he can’t cope with his father’s grief and shock (Mail). Thousands of us have been in his position. My husband, an only child, works away from home, and before the death of his parents, I was the one being phoned every day, at all hours, expected by them to call in every day to deal with what they thought were emergencies, as well as working myself and dealing with family life. We know it’s not easy, but it’s all part and parcel of being a family. Instead of feeling sorry for himself, Grant needs to explain carefully to his father that between the family they will try to make life a bit easier for him. Pay a cleaner to come a couple of times a week. Use the well-known company advertised by Ronnie Corbett to deliver easy, tasty meals once a week that he can microwave. Arrange the occasional outing so his father has something to look forward to. Why are they having ‘stilted family meals in soulless restaurants’ on Sundays? Why isn’t Dad in the bosom of his family every other Sunday enjoying a home-cooked roast with his son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren and being a part of cheerful family life? Do they call round as a family to visit? By all means have days when you’re not available, Grant, and explain to Dad that you have somewhere to be and you’ll phone him the following day. But, for goodness’ sake, a mere month after your mother dying, show a bit more patience and compassion for your father. One day this may well be you.