Hair brushed, smalls ironed, little Tim Farron was ready

LIB Dem leader Tim Farron is not being given much of a lookin. You need not sympathise with his policies to suspect that life must seem a little unfair to the lad Tim.

When Nick Clegg led Lib Dems in Opposition he was guaranteed two questions every PMQs. Didn’t we know it! Mr Farron can but dream of such prominence. Under arrangements which reflect party strengths, he is now likely to be called just once every four weeks, for a single shot.

Yesterday came his latest chance and he had prepared for it. His subject was the south European refugee crisis and Mr Farron had travelled to the Greek island of Lesbos on Tuesday to do his research before hastening home to be in his place yesterday noonish.

He had gone to the trouble of wearing a smart suit and tie, had brushed his hair and, for all I know, ironed his smalls and tied a manly knot in the laces of his Start rite shoes. He was called about halfway through PMQs. Speaker Bercow: ‘Tim Farron!’ Hecklers: ‘Who?’ Cruel beasts. Mr Farron began with an elegant salaam to the late Michael Meacher. He showed he has a better idea of how to do this sort of thing than Jeremy Corbyn, who had earlier managed to make his Meacher tribute over-long and uninteresting. The country may not yet have woken up to the leaden bore that is Corbyn. Mr Farron moved to the meat of his question. In Lesbos he had met ‘inspirational and desperate families’. He was ‘ frankly ashamed’ Britain was not doing more to take in refugees.

It was a serious question, put rather well. Mr Farron has a nicely earnest manner, not too suave yet professional. In that one question he offered a positive policy idea and gave us a flavour of his personality.

For his troubles, he was swatted mercilessly by Cameron sarcasm.

‘Let me again welcome the Hon Gentleman to his place,’ said the Prime Minister, ‘and it is good to see such a high turnout from his MPs.’

This ignited laughter from the Tory and Labour and SNP benches, for beside Mr Farron shivered just three of his tiny band of MPs: white-haired Norman Lamb, a Leeds drone called Mulholland and John Pugh, the Southport MP who resembles a film extra from the 1940s.

Mr Cameron did answer Mr Farron’s question at more serious length but that throwaway insult was a killer. Mr Pugh reacted crossly. Mr Farron had the grace to laugh along with Mr Cameron. Good for him. Things may not be great for the Lib Dems at present but at least their new leader is giving it a fair shot.

Mind you, a colleague who watched PMQs live on television says that the moment Mr Farron’s ques- tion was called, the channel cut away for an advertisement – for Heinz tomato sauce.

The gods are not smiling on little Tim and it might not be a complete surprise were he to be cast in one of those supermarket Christmas commercials, playing the urchin who has his nose pressed to the frosted shop-window glass, gazing in hungry wonder at the juicy victuals that may never be his.

Towards the end of PMQs we had a choice moment when Sir Simon Burns (Con, Chelmsford) asked if the PM thought bullying in the workplace should be stopped – not least at Parliament.

This was aimed directly at Speaker Bercow, who has shrieked and stamped his booties at various Tory MPs in recent days. The Squeaker is back to his bad, batey ways. It has been like this since his woman returned. The Prime Minister agreed with Sir Simon.

Eminences in the peers’ gallery included the Bishop of Portsmouth, who on Monday made that hyperbolic claim that George Osborne’s policy of reducing tax credits was ‘morally indefensible’.

I have long defended the Church of England from fellow righties. After that disgusting speech I no longer feel any desire to do so.