Fear of failure that makes women delay motherhood

THOUSANDS of women are delaying having children for fear of not being the perfect mother, a report warns.

Almost three- quarters of those surveyed said the pressure of juggling a career and family life was putting them off trying to conceive.

Some worried about being labelled as a ‘part-time’ mother if they worked, or said they feared it would be ‘impossible’ to meet the expectations of their in-laws, friends and colleagues.

The report by the British Pregnancy Advisory Service also found that one of the main reasons for women putting off starting a family was the struggle to find Mr Right.

Other concerns included not feeling ready for the responsibility a child, not owning their own home or simply not having enough money.

Official figures show that more than 40 per cent of births each year in England now are to women aged 30 and above.

And just last week senior midwives warned that older mothers who were more prone to complex births were placing a huge strain on maternity wards.

Today’s report was based on a survey of 1,005 women aged 20 to 40, who hoped to have children.

A total of 71.3 per cent agreed with the statement that they were put off conceiving for fear of not being the ‘perfect mother’, This included 26.3 per cent who admitted they ‘strongly agreed’ with the statement.

The BPAS, which runs abortion and sexual health clinics, did not specify what was meant by the perfect mother but most women took it to mean being able to have it all and successfully juggle a career and family life.

One said: ‘I think women are expected to choose motherhood or career and that a woman attempting to do both is seen as a part-time mother and criticised by others.’

The survey also found that 46 per cent of women were delaying motherhood because they were not with the right partner.

A total of 50 per cent said they couldn’t afford a baby and 49 per cent admitted not being ready for the responsibility.

Clare Murphy, of the BPAS, said: ‘People take the decision to have a child extremely seriously indeed, and for the majority of women, finding the right person to do that with and ensuring that a child is being brought into a situation of financial stability is what matters most.

‘Rather than continually warning women about the risks of older motherhood, it would be more productive to push for policy measures that enable women to better combine paid work and motherhood, as many clearly want to do, while ensuring the healthcare services are in place to support the needs of those who wish to or need to wait.’

‘Struggle to find Mr Right’