Out of the mouths of babes
During one summer, i was visiting my grandson in Brighton. He was three years old, and we decided to play races in the small family garden. ‘On your marks, get set, go!’ — and grandma always came second. After a while, we decided to have a rest, and as we sat side by side, i asked Stanley what was his secret of always winning. He cupped his hand to my ear and whispered: ‘Grandma, just run very fast!’ Mrs Rosalyn Jordan,
Barnstaple, Devon.
Jokes
When it comes to dietary advice, i can cope with ‘eat nothing fatty’, but i struggle with ‘eat nothing, fatty’.
Vincent Hefter, Richmond, Surrey.
One-line Philosophers
Selling Advent calendars has opened a lot of doors for me.
P. Turberville, Mansfield, Notts.
if You are poor at spelling, it helps if your handwriting is bad, too.
Mrs Valerie Ashton, London N14.
Wordywise
WELLORS — Lady Chatterley’s gran knew the victor at waterloo. Mark Wraith, Newark, Notts.
BOWER PLANT — dog rose. L. E. Auger, Swindon, Wilts.
GERRY AND THE PATEMAKERS — smooth rock Belgian band.
Ian Jopson, Cardiff. DAIJEELING — a welsh blend of tea.
Edward Millar, Cardiff.
This England
No Bargains here, then! Seen in the Hereford Times: ‘Christmas fete. Stalls and entertainment. Amazing BiG prices.’
G. James, Hereford.