Forget Farage! Miss Marple’s on the case . . .
YOU DECIDE: YOUR GREAT CUT-OUT-AND-KEEP EURO GUIDE
6 GOOD REASONS FOR STAYING IN
More money for all. More safety all round. Wipe the silly grins off the faces of those on the other side. Make Britain a world player. Better for business. A triumph for common sense.
6 GOOD REASONS FOR LEAVING
More money for all. More safety all round. Wipe the silly grins off the faces of those on the other side. Make Britain a world player. Better for business. A triumph for common sense.
9 THINGS MORE INTERESTING THAN THE GREAT EU DEBATE
The life cycle of the natterjack toad. The Collected Will Hutton (12 volumes). That small stain on the kitchen ceiling near the fridge. BBC Question Time, this week from Cheltenham with Julia Hobsbawm, Simon Hughes, Yasmin Alibhai-Brown and former Archbishop of Canterbury, the Rt Rev Dr George Carey. Lewis, episode 67. The introduction by his son Christopher to J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Children Of Hurin. (‘It is said in the Annals Of Beleriand that “the gates of Morgoth were but one hundred and fifty leagues distant from the bridge of Menegroth: far and yet all too near”. These words refer to the bridge leading to the dwellings of the Elvish king Thingol, who took Turin to be his foster son: they were called Menegroth, the Thousand Caves, far south and east of Dor-lomin . . .’) Proportional Representation: A Beginner’s Guide. U2: The Complete Recordings. A point-by-point discussion as to whether the Vauxhall Vectra is more reliable than the Mitsubishi Mirage.
7 BREAKAWAY ‘OUT’ CAMPAIGNS
Vote Leave: Big Business Against The EU. Vote Heave: Bulimics Against The EU. Vote Peeve: Irritable People Against The EU Vote Thieve: Convicted Felons Against The EU. Vote Steve: Normal Blokes Against The EU. Vote Leaf: Greens Against The EU. Vote Weave: Fabric Threaders Against The EU.
2 CAMPAIGNERS WHOSE SURNAMES SOUND A BIT LIKE ITEMS OF CLOTHING
Michael Gove. Julian Brazier.
YOUR THREE-POINT PLAN FOR CURING INSOMNIA
Step One: Close your eyes and imagine you’re listening to Iain Duncan Smith offering ten reasons for wanting to leave the EU. Step Two: Close your eyes and imagine you’re listening to Iain Duncan Smith offering another ten reasons for wanting to leave the EU. Step Three: Close your eyes and imagine you’re listening to Iain Duncan Smith reiterating all 20 reasons for wanting to leave the EU.
7 FICTITIOUS CHARACTERS WHO WILL BE VOTING TO STAY IN
Hercule Poirot. Miss Scarlett. Albert Steptoe. Perky. David Hunter. Buttons. Sherlock Holmes.
7 FICTITIOUS CHARACTERS WHO WILL BE VOTING TO EXIT
Miss Marple. Colonel Mustard. Harold Steptoe. Pinky. Benny. Widow Twanky. Dr Watson.
8 WORDS AND PHRASES YOU WILL HAVE HEARD MUCH MORE OF BY THE TIME JUNE ARRIVES
Historic vote. Ever-closer union. Let’s be quite clear about this. Devastating consequences. The national interest. Fundamental reform. The big issue facing us. You know what? I love this country.
5 MORE REASONS FOR VOTING TO STAY IN
You quite enjoyed your tortilla in Seville the summer before last. You liked Emma Thompson in The Remains Of The Day. Your great aunt has a villa in the Dordogne. There is no speed limit in Germany. Apparently, statistics prove we’re better off in.
5 MORE REASONS FOR VOTING TO STAY OUT
You found something very odd in that paella you ordered in Barcelona three years ago. You didn’t like Emma Thompson in Sense And Sensibility. Your great aunt has a villa in the Dordogne. You got stuck in a traffic jam in Rome in the summer of 1996. Apparently, statistics prove we’re better off out.