The PM brought out his Mr Pingy routine as he got down with the kids
WHILE Boris was having a lovely time with the Queen in central London, David Cameron was down with da kidz in Berkshire. His Mr Angry face had been parked. Instead we had that pumped Mr Pingy routine he uses on the campaign trail – lots of thumbs-ups as he gushed about Brussels and mocked traditional notions of national sovereignty. Democratic control? My dears, how very last year.
He had another go at Boris but this time it was done with the snarl concealed. ‘He’s got a very strong future in British politics,’ he said, ladling out the praise with grandeur. ‘But I think he’s wrong.’
Mr Cameron perhaps sensed that the crowd of young O2 workers might be instinctively fond of Boris. The Mayor of London has rock-god status with 30-somethings. Mr Cameron was greeted with warmth but it was not quite ecstatic.
Sarcastic laughter greeted his opening ‘it’s great to be here in Slough’. The audience presumed he was taking the Mickey. Do not underestimate the scepticism of Generation Rent.
There you are, tieless and young, bursting to taste the European dream, but the Continent’s economy is crocked; so you are therefore stuck on an industrial estate in Slough.
Your building is one of those corporate chillax zones with ‘hello’ written in seven languages at the entrance. Welcome to Babel. The walls carried a creepy slogan, ‘we’re always thinking about you’. Aaaargh.
Mr Cameron resorted to tested campaigning tactics: a Q and A session held in a bright atrium with employees on their company turf (where they will never show disrespect to the VIP guest).
He was smooth, slick – he is undoubtedly skilful at this sort of thing. The Leave people will need to lift their game.
But is the Seventies-socialist EU really the future? His pitch yesterday was ‘stick with the devil we know’. That leaves the powerful ‘change’ argument with the Brexiteers. Mr Cameron’s gloomy message yesterday ran counter to his normal optimism.
The O2 crowd was given the fluent, blood- curdling spiel. A vote to leave the EU would imperil jobs and security. Brexit was an unknown. ‘Danger’, ‘ risk’, ‘uncertainty’ – these were his buzzwords.
‘We’ll be bedder off staying,’ he said, Americanising his accent. That’s what you do when talking to Young People, isn’t it?
The chief executive of O2 (an Irishman) was in the front row. He was ‘proud’ to be proBrussels and his political stance was ‘good for our business’. Do bear that in mind when next choosing a mobile network.
MRCameron’s speech had been preceded by a prim-lipped turn from Tory donor Lady Brady, that snooty one off television’s Apprentice show. She’s no charmer in the public- speaking department. I’ve known greater warmth off the Zermatt glacier.
Mr Cameron ripped off his jacket and handed it to la Brady. She could not take her eyes off him and his Daz-Automatic blue Jermyn Street shirt.
‘This is a very, very big decision,’ he said, biting his lip. ‘A decision that will last for life.’ Brexit would lead to job losses. We would be discriminated against. It would help terrorists!
I swear I could almost hear the Jaws theme tune.
‘If you’re not certain, vote Remain, knowing it’s gonna get bedder,’ he averred.
A woman asked why her Polish neighbour received more in benefits than she did.
Nor was everyone much impressed by yesterday’s pro-EU letter from fat-cat bosses.
And what about Boris’s Leave decision? Mr Cameron said he was ‘disappointed’, though he had ‘ huge respect’ for his rival. ‘ We’re going to have a very reasonable and civilised argument.’ With which he repeated his Borisbashing line about how his own leadership ambitions are quite, quite spent.
Off he strode, beaming. Lady Brady followed, holding his jacket almost possessively, her eyes a-gleam.
The motorcade awaited. One of the bodyguards was almost left behind – locked out of the limo. Brussels diplomats have nightmares about that sort of thing.