HERE’S WHAT OTHER MUMS HAVE TO SAY
‘He tells our friends that I’m rampant’
Emily Gorrill, 40, a mature student, is married to Tim, 55, who runs a carpentry business. They live in Blackburn with their four children, Henry, ten, Caleb, seven, and twins maisy and Essie, four. She says: WHEN Tim and I married, despite our busy working lives, we ensured we made love three times a week. Today with four children, it’s twice a week. Tim has no qualms about calling me ‘rampant’ in front of our friends. I’m proud of the fact we’re still in love and intimate with each other. After four children, people always assume I must have gone off sex, but that hasn’t happened. Now the twins are at nursery in the afternoons, if Tim has a few hours to spare between clients, he’ll pop home and surprise me. It keeps things exciting.
‘My husband gave me an ultimatum’
ClairE WilliamS, 32, an administrator, is married to Stephen, 30, who runs a painting and decorating business. They live on the isle of man with their children, John, eight, and Jacques, six. She says: SUNDAY evenings used to be the sum total of our sex life. And only if I wasn’t working late. As a sous chef, the long hours meant not only rarely seeing our two children but our love life suffered, too. Two years ago, he gave me an ultimatum: change my job or else. It pulled me up sharp. I realised just how important intimacy was and found an office job. It means I leave at 5pm and when I switch off the computer, I’m a wife and mum again. As a result, we’ve rekindled our love life — having sex on average twice a week.
‘I don’t want him to go elsewhere for sex’
JEannE, 50, a mature student, is married to husband Guy, 56, a writer. They live in Dublin with their six children, alana, 19, Ben, 16, Tyke 11, Charlie, nine, twins, rowan and Jude, seven. She says: IF I’M honest I do feel as though I have to ‘service’ my husband. I find myself thinking, ‘How long has it been?’ Guy would like it more often than our average of twice a week. I’m happy with that, but I don’t want him feeling the need to go elsewhere for sex. During the week we’re up just after 6am; intimacy is the last thing on our minds. Both of us work from home, though, so we get intimate when the children are at school. I’ll admit that when we start off, sometimes, it’s a case of me going through the motions. That said, I always end up enjoying myself.
‘We stuck at one child to have more time together’
JaCqui BroWn, a 44-year-old blogger from reading, has been married to adrian, 45, an iT consultant, for 18 years. They have a son, Edward, 15. She says: WE MADE the decision very early on only to have one child. I didn’t want us to lose the connection we had as a couple, so neither of us pushed to have a second. We met 20 years ago and I still fancy Adrian rotten. My philosophy is that Adrian was in my life before our son was. When Edward flies the nest we’ll, hopefully, have many more years together on our own. That’s why looking after Adrian’s sexual and emotional needs are as important to me as caring for our son. We even go on holiday together on our own, too — leaving Edward with his grandparents. We also go on regular dates, which frequently culminate in love-making. It’s easier nowadays because Edward is usually at school or staying over at a friend’s house. If I know Adrian is going away the following week, I’ll usually squeeze two ‘sessions’ into a weekend. Our sex drives are pretty evenly matched.
‘It’s always possible to find five minutes’
roWan marx, 34, a stay-at-home mum, is married to adrian, 38, an information analyst. They live in Perth, Scotland, with their three children, Sam, 16, iona, 15, ailsa, four. rowan is pregnant with their fourth, due in april. She says: BEFORE I became pregnant last year, we made love every other day. People ask how that’s possible when you have children at home. My answer is sex isn’t restricted to the bedroom. There’s the shower — and the kitchen, too. It’s always possible to find five spare minutes each day. It’s important because it’s how we connect as a couple. I initiate sex with Adrian more often than he does. It’s part of recognising that I’m not just a mother but a wife, too.