LITTLEJOHN
COVERAGE of the EU referendum has concentrated on the psychodrama starring Call Me Dave and Boris Johnson, as if the feud between two old etonians is all that’s at stake.
The Metro newspaper headline, eton Rivals, summed it up — a clever play on The eton Rifles, the 1979 hit single by The Jam, which Dave claims ( along with ernie, The Fastest Milkman in The West) is one of his all- time favourite records.
Curiously enough, Cameron kicked off the Remain campaign, with Karren Brady from The Apprentice, in Slough, the Berkshire town referenced in the lyrics. As always, it helps if you sing along . . . Fluff up your hair and stub out
your fag There’s a rally going on down
in Slough Smile for the telly and ignore
the Press Take along Karren Brady in a
brand new dress. Thought you were smart when you
did the deal But you didn’t take a peek at the
fine detail You’re trying to pretend that we’ve
got special status Don’t you realise that our ‘partners’
hate us? Hello, hooray, it’s Call Me Dave, And his Eton rival, Eton rival, Hello, hooray, there’s Theresa May, And the Eton rivals, Eton rivals. Thought that you were clever when
you pulled it off Tore down the House of Commons
like a proper toff Tried to offer Boris Foreign Secretary But he wasn’t going to buy into your
treachery. Hello, hooray, Call Me Dave, And his Eton rival, Eton rival. Hello, hooray, what a gay day, For the Eton rivals, Eton rivals. What a hypocrite you turned out
to be Done up like a kipper for the price
of a lobster tea And you stood there grinning like
a public schoolboy. We came out of it naturally the worst Shiny and sweaty and with stains on
your shirt You were no match for their
smug disdain But you’re still trying to tell us
to Vote Remain. Hello, hooray, there’s a price
to pay, To your Eton rival, Eton rival, Hello, hooray, you’ve dug your
own grave, Eton rivals, Eton rivals. Hello, hooray, Call Me Dave, Eton rivals, Eton rivals, Hello, hooray, you’ve paved
the way, For your Eton rival, Eton rival, Eton
rival, Eton rival . . .