Oh Oh Woe! We’ll never see a Bond as sexy as this again

There comes a moment, in the life of every spy, when he must come in from the cold. For Daniel Craig, that moment came this week, when the 48-year-old actor declared he was ‘done’ playing James Bond. Done, done, done!

I tell you what is done, oh Danny boy — my aching heart. For Craig has ignored the entreaties of his fans and turned down £68 million to appear in the next two films, which suggests he must have been desperate to slip from his human Bond-age.

Certainly, he had started moaning about it a lot. Too much!

The chiselled hunk would boast about doing all his own stunts, then complain about the knee injury that ensued.

he would whine that Bond was too misogynistic for modern tastes, and seemed to want to recast him as some kind of vegan metrosexual who liked to empathise with the chicks, instead of bedding them all like daffodil bulbs, as is traditional.

Thankfully, that milksop transformation never happened. Instead, Craig managed to imbue the world’s most famous spy with a raw shot of aggression and pure physicality — but also made him modern and complex.

Craig’s Bond was a true patriot; the kind of trained killer who was dangerous but also, you know, decent. And I like that he took it all so darned seriously.

No wonder that a lot of female interest was sharpened by this contemporary portrayal of the celebrated MI6 operative. Not least of all because, for the first time, Bond’s ladykiller reputation was justified — and convincing.

Women believed that women really would fall for him in an instant. Just try to stop us even if, way back at the beginning, the omens were less than promising.

For a start, a blond Bond? It was unthinkable. And his ears were too far down his head, like a mouse. Craig was also a bit of a shorty who looked like Mr Potato head from some angles and had an odd habit of pouting at the most inopportune moments.

Plus there seemed to be scant glamour and a distinct lack of upper-class polish from the man who starred in gangster flick Layer Cake and once dated Kate Moss. even more worrying; in some of his first Bond publicity shots, he looked like an elf in a dinner jacket.

Then Casino royale was released in 2006, and all bets were off.

For Daniel Craig has been an absolute sensation as James Bond, his thrillingly intense depiction of the super spy making all the others look like weary fakers or jocular twerps who were too hung up on their exploding pens and Bond girls in cat suits to do the genre justice.

AND now this. It seems far too soon for Craig to hand up Bond’s Walther PPK and sprint off into the sunset, but there is no turning back now. With a natural heir — in the shape of Tom hiddleston — already waiting in the wings, we are clearly approaching the end of a Bond era.

Craig feels that he has done his time in the spy trenches and who could blame him?

In the meantime, millions of Dan-fans have been plunged into a Bondish bereavement, mourning the fact that our boy will never again climb into his tootight tux to order a martini, to pout like a sulky duckling and to save the world without breaking sweat.

here are just some of the reasons why we are going to miss him so much . . .

THE MOST BUFF BOND EVER

CRAIG was the seventh screen James Bond and he worked out more than the other six put together. The result was a superspy superstructure, a totally buffed bod complete with the most magnificent arms since Popeye first swung a can of spinach.

his bulging biceps made predecessors such as Pierce ‘ Chest hair’ Brosnan and roger ‘eyebrows’ Moore look like weeds by comparison.

he could knock a man out cold, they couldn’t knock the skin off an olive.

THOSE BUDGIE SMUGGLERS

DANIEL’s famous Ursula Andress moment came in Casino royale, as he stepped out of the surf (below) and along the beach in a pair of skimpy blue trunks. Or a pair of La Perla grigioperla Lodato square-leg swimshorts from the spring summer 2006 collection, to be precise. The avian contrabrand captors sold out instantly, but pairs still occasionally turn up on eBay for large sums of money.

There was no plot reason for 007 to walk across the beach in this get-up, but we are all ever so grateful he did.

YES, IT IS A GUN IN HIS POCKET

DANIEL insisted on fewer sex scenes than in previous Bond adventures. Just as well, as his seduction technique is thrillingly non- existent. he just appears, and women float into his arms like untethered balloons.

In spectre, Monica Belluci was a grieving widow who just buried her husband — what better distraction than a quickie with Bond after the funeral? In skyfall, the pest interrupts Bérénice Marlohe’s shower time — and she hadn’t even lost her soap.

THE THINGS HE SAYS

‘I CAN’T find the stationery. Can you come and help me look?’ his way of getting gemma Arterton into his bedroom in spectre. ‘I LIKE you better without your Beretta.’ Whispered to Bérénice in the shower (see above). ‘I’M sorry I’m not sorry.’ Could be his mantra. ‘IT WAS only four ribs and some of the less vital organs. Nothing major.’ When colleague Naomie harris apologies for accidentally shooting him. ‘I HAVE no armour left. You’ve stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me, whatever I am, I’m yours.’ To eva green, when they fall in love.

RANDOM EXCITEMENTS

IN SKYFALL, Daniel disguises himself by wearing a chauffeur’s uniform.

CHEERS TO THE MEMORIES

NOT afraid to break the mould in a way that appalled purists. There is a moment in skyfall when Oik Oik seven ditches the spy’s traditional martini and relaxes with a glass of heineken lager instead.

In Casino royale, Dan the Man specifies a martini made with gin and vodka, yuk. In spectre he has a dirty martini while attending a party with Leya sedoux.

however, he drinks Bollinger champagne more than anything else (three times in spectre) and, as always, has a glass of Macallan malt whisky on the go, the only outward sign of inner Bond turmoil.

A RESPECTABLE ASSASSIN

he KILLs on average 12.6 people in each film. That’s fewer kills than Pierce Brosnan (21.25 per film) but more than roger Moore and sean Connery, who killed about seven each outing.

NO NEED FOR BOY TOYS

HE HAD no truck with trucks that turned into submarines or a camera that was really a laser missile. he did resort to a self-applying in-car defibrillator in Casino royale, but only because villain Le Chiffre’s girlfriend had just served him a poisoned cocktail and things were desperate. he lived to die another day. But now he’s gone for ever.