How to beat cancer – give your doctor’s secretary f lowers

CANCER sufferers should woo their consultant’s secretary with chocolates or flowers to ensure they get the best possible care, one of Britain’s top doctors has said.

Other advice on working the system includes finding out which hospital provides the best care, working out a treatment timetable and not being afraid to make a fuss.

In his new book, Karol Sikora, the former head of cancer at the World Health Organization, warns patients the NHS doesn’t exist just to help them. He writes: ‘The system is not actually there to help you – or at least not you alone.

‘The system is there to maximise the quality of cancer treatment overall, to make sure the organisation and the people within it make a living and to make sure that the burden on society as a whole is not too great.

‘Of course, much of the time, that will mean treating your cancer as quickly and effectively as possible. But – and this is the important point – not all the time. It doesn’t make much difference [to the NHS] whether you are one of the people who get cured or not.’

Professor Sikora says patients should carry out detailed research in their particular cancer, obtaining copies of their scans and pathology reports, and look up US guidelines on how they should be treated. They should then draw up a treatment schedule.

In perhaps the worst indictment of the health service, readers of The Street-Wise Patient’s Guide to Surviving Cancer are also advised to befriend their consultant’s secretary or PA. Something as simple as learning his or her first name or giving them a small gift such as chocolates, flowers or wine could speed up appointments.

The book, which is published in July, also advises patients to find out which hospital provides the best treatment for their cancer and ask to be referred there.

They should also request to see the same doctor or nurse and be nice without being a pushover.

Professor Sikora told the Sunday Times: ‘If you feel you are missing out, make a fuss – politely. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.’