Admiral gets the hump over a camel

AS A young sailor in the late Fifties, i found myself serving on a ‘concrete frigate’ i.e. the rn Air Station Culdrose in Cornwall. i had completed, when finishing my training, a preference drafting card and as jokingly advised, nominated for my favoured draft, ‘the ever popular impossibility . . . a frigate in the Far East’ which landed me at an air station near Land’s End! When i complained, i was told quite pointedly: ‘if you cannot take a joke, son, you should not have joined up!’ in my first year ‘behind the mast’ at Culdrose, i experienced my first ‘Admiral’s inspection’. Admiral Charles ‘Crash’ Evans had completed his inspection of the establishment and before he departed, the whole of the ship’s company ‘fell in’ i.e. ‘assembled’ on the parade ground for that final march past. At the time, Billy Smart’s circus was appearing in Helston and our camp commander had borrowed a large camel. The camel was hidden by the station’s church and was led past the Admiral (whose nickname was ‘camel’ because he had a ginger goat-like beard which made him resemble the beast) after the last platoon had completed their march past. The joke was, so i believe, that when the Admiral asked, ‘What is a camel doing on my march past?’ every officer acted dumb and replied: ‘What camel? We never saw any camel — are you sure, Admiral? Did you really see a camel? Are you feeling well, Sir?’ Of course, being so young and naive myself, i was not in on the joke and my mess-mates treated me in the same vein — making me believe i had imagined seeing the beast myself!

Ken miller, Allestree, Derby.