Saved from a forced marriage
EXCLUSIVE: Incredible story of a Muslim girl who made legal history by winning court orders to protect her from her parents’ plan . . . yet she still lives with them
Like thousands of girls across Britain she grew up in a loving Muslim family. But her ordinary life came crashing down when she discovered her father had plotted to marry her online to a stranger.
in an emotional interview with the Daily Mail, the 21-year-old student told of an ordeal in which bullies from her community also tried to make her undergo female genital mutilation.
However she was brave enough to seek help and is now the first recipient of civil court orders protecting her from forced marriage and barbaric circumcision.
Her devout parents, who she still lives with, face up to five years in prison if they defy the rulings.
Born abroad, she grew up in a run-down terraced house in Wolverhampton where she claims she was picked on for refusing to wear a face-covering burqa.
‘We would go to family gatherings and they would get up and sit elsewhere and refuse to speak to me,’ said the young woman, identified only as Zara.
At 17 she received her first marriage proposal from a college friend, but the offer was withdrawn when he discovered she had not been circumcised. ‘When i started getting proposals, they always asked if i was circumcised. i would say no and the marriage wouldn’t go ahead,’ she told the Mail.
‘This kept happening. i kept on getting rejected because i wasn’t circumcised. i was told i was not a Muslim and wasn’t respectable because i hadn’t had it done.
‘But i am a good Muslim. i fast during Ramadan, i pray five times a day, i wear a hijab. And the koran does not say that women should be circumcised.’
Zara’s mother, who cannot speak english, was herself circumcised and had warned her daughter against the procedure.
But pressure from her community and her father made her decide to look into circumcision when she turned 21.
She consulted her Muslim GP who told her that FGM was illegal and put her in touch with the NSPCC which in turn put her in touch with police. Fearing Zara would be taken out of the country and forced to marry, officers moved quickly to protect her.
THeytold her to secure her passport which, to her horror, she found contained an islamic marriage registration form from her local mosque bearing her name. Signed by her father and uncle, it named a suitor in the Middle east she had never met.
The form said the marriage would be carried out on the Skype telephone service in her absence. Zara would then be wed under islamic law without it being registered in British law.
‘in my country, only the man has a say in the marriage. The woman is not required to give her permission,’ said Zara.
‘Women don’t have to be present or sign any forms for the marriage to take place because the father can sign, or anyone from the father’s family. in my country, they don’t accept a signature from a woman on her own marriage certificate.’
The form did not specify when the wedding would take place.
‘i just didn’t know whether or not i was married,’ said Zara. ‘if i was, i knew i would be circumcised immediately,’ she recalled.
‘i was crying my eyes out, begging to know if i was married. i fainted. i lost all hope for my future, i felt like it was the end of my life. Then, when the court order was made, i knew nobody could circumcise me or force me to marry. At that moment i felt safe.’
Despite the police investigation and subsequent court orders, Zara does not hold her father solely responsible. ‘He wanted me to get married before i got too old. Our community built up pressure on him to get me circumcised and married,’ she said.
‘i remember in my childhood i couldn’t go to community gatherings because i’m “not up to standard”. it’s not the individual parents who are at fault, it’s the community they are brought up in.
‘The people from my dad’s community have told him he cannot be buried in the islamic cemetery because he is not doing his job as a father. ‘They pressurise and emotionally blackmail parents so they circumcise their children. They say it’s normal and it’s to protect the family honour. But it’s not.’
She appealed for girls in her position to trust the police who she credits with saving her life. Reflecting on her experiences, she added: ‘if i had been sent abroad to be with that man, i don’t think i’d be alive now because i don’t want to be forced into a marriage and end up a slave.
‘Here, i have freedom. There are so many other girls sitting in their rooms crying. i just hope they will have courage to go to the police after reading my story.
‘We shouldn’t have to live by rules a particular community came up with hundreds of years ago. This is the 21st century.’
Police officers obtained the court orders on Zara’s behalf. Although both forced marriage and FGM are already offences, the order allows officers to intervene to stop them taking place at all.
Sergeant Sharon Smith, of West Midlands Police, said: ‘People need to realise the laws in this country are different to the laws in their country of origin.
‘i hope this case gives others confidence to come forward.’