What age should you stop children playing naked in public?
We talk to a mother who insists it’s fine even at seven
ONE sunny afternoon, Ella Brookbanks and her family were enjoying a picnic at a local beauty spot surrounded by strangers who were also making the most of the glorious weather.
It’s a scene familiar to middle- class families everywhere — except, perhaps, for one detail. No sooner had the last strawberry been devoured than Ella’s seven-year-old daughter Sophie took off her sundress and pants, then spent the rest of the day completely naked.
As Sophie paddled in a nearby stream, and played tag in the park with friends, her mother didn’t bat an eyelid.
Not for Ella the fear that a pervert might be lurking or that onlookers might feel uncomfortable. For she firmly believes it’s her daughter’s right to play naked in public. ‘It’s something Sophie enjoys,’ says Ella. ‘Sometimes, she just feels more comfortable this way. I don’t think it’s inappropriate. There shouldn’t be a stigma surrounding children and nudity.’
But, undoubtedly, there is a stigma: one brought into sharp focus on sunny days.
When, on a parenting forum recently, a mother asked if young girls should play naked in the park, opinions were fiercely divided. For every mum who decided it was fine, more described it as dangerous and undignified.
So is it irresponsible to let children run around naked in public? And at what age should they stop doing so?
‘Sadly, while children are entirely innocent and their mothers well-meaning, society isn’t quite as forgiving,’ says Manchesterbased child psychologist Emma Kenny.
‘Of course, most men aren’t paedophiles. But we have to acknowledge that in this age of mobile technology, there are people who like to take pictures of children in public and share them with other deviants.’
That’s not the only issue, she says. ‘It will also invite judgment from other parents, who don’t let their children play naked.
‘The sight of another parent’s unclothed girl can make fathers, particularly, feel awkward. And from around five years old, children become more aware of their bodies and might be bullied by their peers for running around naked.’
Yet Ella, 30, a business manager from Wilmslow, Cheshire, who is married to Keith, 37, a billing manager, is undeterred. ‘It is only when you make nudity shameful that it becomes dangerous,’ she says. ‘I want my daughter to enjoy the innocence of childhood — that includes the freedom of not wearing clothes.
‘I don’t make a conscious decision to let her take her clothes off. But often, the mood takes her.
‘If we’re going to the park or lido, I will bring her bikini and she always asks me if she wants to take it off — or not put it on in the first place. I don’t see a problem.’
ELLA, who says several of her daughter’s friends also play naked, has encountered no objections. ‘Perhaps it is because I live in the north of England where we are more carefree,’ she says.
It’s not that Ella is naïve about deviants — far from it. Once, in a café, she caught a man in his 50s taking photos of Sophie, then two, as they ate fully-clothed. ‘Security called police and I felt sick,’ she says. ‘But it just goes to show that bad things can happen regardless of whether children are clothed. We can’t live our lives thinking something awful might happen. Besides, I always keep a watchful eye.’
Ella, who says Keith is ‘laid-back’ about his daughter playing naked, is convinced letting her daughter play unclothed will encourage her to develop a positive body image.
‘Sophie knows boys’ and girls’ bodies are different and we’ve already touched on sex, which shouldn’t be a taboo subject. I’ve also told Sophie about periods and that when she grows up, she’ll get boobs like me,’ says Ella.
‘I have happy memories of playing naked on the beach at Sophie’s age and I want her to enjoy that freedom, too. Of course, I don’t want her naked at puberty, but she’ll grow out of it soon.’
While many of us ran around without clothes as children, sadly, we no longer live in such innocent times. According to children’s charity NSPCC, child sex offences are reported every hour. Police logged 45,456 cases in 2014-15, a 45 per cent increase on the previous year. There’s also a dramatic increase in online paedophilia.
Meanwhile, the subject continues to polarise parents. Rosie Corriette, of Carshalton, Surrey, has encountered much opposition to letting her daughter Boo take off her clothes in public.
‘ Friends and strangers have expressed surprise and disapproval,’ says Rosie. ‘But to force my daughter to wear clothes would be to rob her of her childhood.’
Rosie has let Boo, who is five next month, run around naked at her local park, at friends’ houses and on numerous holidays.
‘On the beach in Spain, rather than spend a fortune on a pair of bikini bottoms, I decided to let her go nude,’ says Rosie. ‘Boo liked being naked. It is the nicest feeling for a child not to worry about the feel of clothes against their skin.’
At a splash pool recently, Rosie says Boo was only one of three children naked, out of a total of 50. ‘ The other children without costumes were probably from Spain or Italy, where nudity is much more acceptable,’ says Rosie, 27, a writer who split up with Boo’s father when she was 18 months old.
‘A local woman approached me and said my daughter had “lost” her swimming costume. When I told her she simply wanted to run around without it, she was taken aback, but I wasn’t bothered.
‘My sole focus is making sure my daughter is happy and safe.
‘I don’t look around constantly for strangers. As long as I watch Boo closely, she can’t come to harm.’ Rosie adds: ‘When I was a child, I ran around naked everywhere. It’s a shame we now feel we have to moderate our children’s behaviour.
‘People ask if I’m worried about paedophiles, and everyone, from school mums to my friends, goes on about the importance of “safeguarding”. But I think that’s just a word to hide behind. The real issue is that parents are worried about what other parents will think.’
At a friend’s garden party recently, Boo stripped to get in the paddling pool in front of 40 guests. ‘The host asked if I would feel more comfortable if she wore one of his daughter’s swimming costumes, but I said no, that the worst that could happen was she would get covered in grass. He accepted my decision, but it obviously wasn’t something he would do.’
Child nudity on social media is another huge flashpoint, which Rosie found when she posted a topless holiday picture of Boo on Facebook last year.
‘ I received a message from Facebook, saying there had been a complaint,’ she recalls. Although no action was taken, Facebook decided the picture fell within its policy on naked photos.
Rosie was furious. ‘Obviously, the picture offended one of my friends — it was only visible to friends — but the fuss was ridiculous.’
But she will allow Boo to play naked on the beach in Spain next month. ‘I will let Boo take her bikini bottoms off. Only by sexualising nudity do you create a problem.’
THIS month, British Naturism said our ‘ prudish’ attitude towards nudity is preventing children from learning about their bodies and tantamount to ‘child abuse’. Spokesman Andrew Welch explains: ‘ Because nudity is so wrapped up in sex and pornography, we think we’re doing the right thing by covering up our children.
‘But they will grow up with hangups about their bodies. In Scandinavia, where naked bodies are commonplace in public, STIs and teen pregnancy rates are lower. Child nudity is perfectly acceptable.’
Try telling that to Nikki Swindle, who is so determined to protect her four-year-old daughter Hannah, she shields her modesty in swimming pool changing rooms by insisting on a private cubicle.
She says: ‘You never know who is looking, and the idea of a naked picture of her appearing online is horrific,’ says personal assistant Nikki, 32, from Sheffield, who is engaged to James, 32, an optical dispenser. ‘ When I see a naked child aged four or over, I feel sick to my stomach that something bad might happen.’
Does she think she might be overreacting? ‘ Absolutely not,’ she insists. ‘ Paedophilia is not rare, sadly.’ Nikki says her attitude also stems from a desire to teach Hannah control over her body.
‘I’ve told her she doesn’t have to let anyone see her unclothed if she doesn’t want to. Although I’m not sure she fully understands the reasons why yet.’
Presumably, she soon will do. But the debate over whether it is wise or not to educate girls so young about the importance of covering their bodies continues to rage.