THE VERBAL STILETTOS DELIVERED WITH A KNOWING SMILE

Her Mrs Merton put-downs became legendary. Here are some of the best . . . To former Sun Page 3 girl Melinda Messenger: ‘You’re more than just a pair of bosoms, aren’t you? Because you won Rear of the Year last year, didn’t you?’ To former Tory MP Edwina Currie: ‘Do you know who loves you and finds you fascinating?’ Edwina: ‘Who?’ Mrs Merton: ‘You.’ To Barbara Windsor: ‘That’s what I love about you Barbara, you’re one of us . . . You’re like a big film star, but you’re still common as muck!’ To Germaine Greer: ‘You were

a right old slapper in the Seventies, weren’t you?’ To alcoholic football star George Best: ‘If you hadn’t done all that running around playing football, do you think you would have been so thirsty?’ To Olympic sprinter Kris Akabusi: ‘Do you have to plan your tactics before the race or do you just try and run faster than the other blokes?’ To boyish-looking TV presenters Ant and Dec: ‘Is it lovely being up this late?’ To Des Lynam (then Match Of The Day host): ‘I think you’re the Tom Cruise for menopausal women, we’re like putty in your hands.’ To astrologer Russell Grant: ‘You’re an Aquarius, which means you’re ruled by Uranus? Do you think they’ll ever find a man on Uranus?’ And, of course: To Debbie McGee: ‘But what first, Debbie, attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?’ ‘I think of you both as our version of David Copperfield and Claudia Schiffer [then an item], but you know, on a lower budget.’