SHIPSHAPE NORWAY!
Sail past sheer cliffs, racing waterfalls — and even the odd porpoise
HOW easy it is to be wooed by glossy cruise brochures. Lavish comfort is promised on every page, along with impeccable service set against the most romantic of destinations. But can cruise lines really deliver such ambitious dreams in full? A few get close. Take our trip to Norway on Cruise & Maritime Voyages’ ( CMV) 46,000- ton Magellan. We embark with minimal fuss at London Tilbury and soon settle into our roomy cabin.
Magellan — originally named the Holiday — was Danish-built for Carnival Cruise Lines in 1985. Later, she housed Hurricane Katrina victims, then became a floating hotel for the Sochi Winter Olympics.
But, like an opera diva making a comeback, she had a refit, returned to cruising and joined CMV in 2015. Like all old ships, she creaks and the decor is worn. But she’s clean, friendly and well-equipped. There are six bars, large lounges, a casino, library, three restaurants, swimming pools and plenty of deck space.
Cruising is popular with over60s, and CMV caters for that age group in particular. Shipboard activities include illustrated talks, games, quizzes, demonstrations and much more.
The wildlife talks by naturalist Peter Holden are especially informative. But there are also plenty of quiet corners for reading or simply gazing out to sea.
Our accommodation is wellequipped and spacious enough for my 6 ft 2 in frame — though my legs welcome the stretch at Bergen, our first port of call.
Here, we stroll through the old harbour, where timber buildings slump against each other like drunks on a pub crawl. They’re painted in cheerful brick-red or ochre.
On an optional tour, we visit Troldhaugen, Edvard Grieg’s former home.
His Steinway piano is on view and a portrait of Henrik Ibsen in the parlour recalls the tetchy relationship between playwright and composer. Climbing the steep hill to Troldhaugen gives us a healthy appetite. And dining on Magellan is a pleasure. There are two formal dining rooms — the Kensington, to which we’re allotted, and the Waldorf.
Fish dishes — always a test for shipboard fare — are fresh and delicate. The salads are crisp and the service faultless.
For a special night, you can book The Chef’s Table, which includes drinks and canapes, a tour of the galley and a nine- course degustation menu (£49 pp). With so much food on offer, we expect to gain weight.
But portions are not excessive and it’s easy to eat wisely while still enjoying delicious food.
Plus, it’s wonderful not having to wash up afterwards.
The next day, at Molde, we visit the Romsdal Museum, which holds an extensive collection of traditional turf-roofed houses. Children in traditional Norwegian costume dance to a deftly played fiddle. Norway’s west coast is littered with little islands and, in the morning light, they seem to float on quicksilver. We take a boat to Haholmen island, enjoy a delicious fish stew at the Ytterbrygga Restaurant and return in a replica Viking ship.
BACK on board, it’s easy to lose track of time. The vessel becomes a refuge with established shipboard rituals, such as the Captain’s cocktail party. In formal dress, we line up for a perfunctory handshake while cameras flash.
Then, like cattle coming in for milking, we’re gently herded into the vast Show Lounge.
This evening’s show is an Abba revival, well- performed — not mimed — with live musicians, superb costumes and impressive choreography.
Another day, another fjord — this time Geirangerfjord, a Unesco World Heritage Site. Sheer cliffs, streaked with waterfalls, plunge into the dark water. But the finest views are from the 1,476 m Dalsnibba peak nearby.
Sailing out, we watch porpoises playing in the calm water. I want to jump ship and go naturewatching in the hills. But we must move on.
Cruising past salmon farms, fruit orchards and more glorious scenery along Hardangerfjord, we dock in Eidfjord.
You need at least a week here, but we’ve only a couple of hours. Just time to visit the spectacular 182 m Voringsfossen waterfall.
We hear the fall, but our view is blocked by tourists taking ‘selfies’ with their backs to the tumbling water.
A final day at sea — time to reflect. Did Cruise & Maritime Voyages deliver? For us, absolutely. Norway is magnificent.
And on-board — apart from a cringe-inducing Baked Alaska Parade at the last dinner — we enjoyed every moment.