Face to face: the driver who killed while on his phone — and the woman whose world he shattered
VICTIM’S GIRLFRIEND MEG ‘Lewis isn’t a murderer. But the guilt and blame will never leave him’
phone behind the wheel. I wanted to know how he was feeling now. I wanted to know why he was arguing with his girlfriend.
He agreed, but we were both very nervous. I was nervous because I didn’t want to put any more blame on him than he was already feeling and he was nervous because he didn’t want to upset me any more.
He’s human and compassionate. He was a lot softer and more open than I expected him to be and very, very sorry.
He’s not a murderer. He just made a mistake. A mistake that people make all the time. But he’s having to live with his guilt for the rest of his life.
I’m not angry any more, I’m just determined it doesn’t happen to anyone else. When I see people using their phones while they’re driving I want to tell them what I’ve been through.
They know it’s illegal, but I want them to be aware of the possible knock-on effect of those couple of seconds while you’re staring at your phone.
I know, Lewis knows and so do all Gavin’s friends and family. But I want everyone else to know.
When I’m driving, my phone is in my bag in the boot so I have no access to it, because no phone call or text message is as important as your life or someone else’s.
LEWIS’S STORY
I’m A normal guy. I’ve been brought up well. I went to work five days a week, came home, ate dinner, played darts and bar billiards in the week, went to the football at the weekends and loved my family and friends. But I was on my phone.
I was making calls to my girlfriend — I was scared of losing her. They were emotional calls; raging calls that shouldn’t have been made that night and I’ve got to live with that for ever, and ever.
I don’t remember the incident — I have no memory of any of it. But I feel as if I know him. I feel as if I’ve met him thanks to some of the dreams I’ve had.
Just being in the car, raining, darkness. And his face, his picture — it’s just there.
He was minding his own business that night. He was just going to work. That’s what I think about all the time. I think about what he must have seen.
It just makes me feel horrible. The doctors told my family I had a 70 per cent chance of dying that night. my injuries were nothing compared to what happened to Gavin, but I broke my left leg and tore my aorta, had a stent fitted and had internal injuries.
They had to put me in a coma to keep me breathing because my lungs were squashed.
They didn’t tell me what had happened, but I knew I was in trouble because the police were bringing my stuff from the car in bags. my auntie told me that I took off my oxygen mask and said to her it was my fault.
I kept saying: ‘It was my fault. It was my fault.’
Eventually, my dad and stepmum told me everything. I cried.
Obviously I couldn’t believe that I could have done it, but I had and I have to accept it and face it.
I didn’t want to get better then. I didn’t want the physio, I didn’t want the treatment, I didn’t care about my injuries.
I expected the hate and the abuse. People think that I’m a murderer. I’m a stupid idiot, but I’m not a murderer — that’s one comment I won’t accept because I didn’t mean it. And I didn’t mean to end his life. When I heard meg wanted to meet me I felt upset because I’m guilty.
I feel as if I’m a bad person who is hated everywhere and I thought she’d hate me.
But I’m happy that we met, I’m happy that she wanted to meet me. And I hope it will help her move on and help me get through this as well as the next chapter of serving my punishment.
No one thinks it will happen to them. I’ve lost my job, lost my car and I’ve ruined someone else’s life. I learned the hard way, but it shouldn’t take something like this.
If I could live without a phone now, I would. I won’t ever drive again. Ever.
I know I’ve caused a lot of pain for a lot of people.
I know what I’ve done, I know the lives I’ve ruined and I deserve everything I get from whatever comes now, hate, anger . . . I’ve got no excuse for what’s happened and am just so sorry for everything. But sorry’s not enough.
MEG’S story and her meeting with lewis can be seen on inside out South, BBC 1 South, tonight, 7.30pm, and on iPlayer for the next 30 days.