The PHARMACIST HOOKED ON PAINKILLERS
He was put on them by his own GP. And his disturbing story shows how shockingly easy it is to become addicted to over the counter pills
THREE million Britons are addicted to prescription and overthe-counter painkillers. Here, a pharmacist who became an addict reveals the shocking lengths it drove him to . . .
TheIR hurriedness is the first thing you notice. You try to explain how to use the medication correctly and the possible side- effects, but they’re not listening. They just want to leave with their package as fast as they can.
They come from all walks of life. When it comes to being addicted to over- the- counter or prescription painkillers, there are no rules about who succumbs.
But they all have one thing in common: even though they’re addicts, they don’t see themselves in the same league as someone hooked on heroin. And they’re not, because usually they’ve simply followed a doctor’s advice on pain relief.
But I know they are addicts. As a pharmacist I’m responsible for dispensing the medication they’re addicted to, and I see them coming back for their prescriptions.
I also recognise them for what they are because for three decades I, too, was addicted to the painkiller many of them crave — codeine, a central ingredient of many treatments and often found in over- the- counter painkillers and cough medicine.
Codeine is an opiate like morphine and heroin, and is highly addictive.
My codeine addiction has cost me years of guilt and put my family through hell; saw me on the brink of suicide, and stifled both my career and my wife’s, so I still have to work while my peers are selling their businesses and retiring.
The problem began in my 20s. I’d just left university where I’d trained as a pharmacist — I’m from a working-class background and was the first in the family to get a degree. Soon after starting work at a pharmacy, I went to the doctor with stomach pains.
Looking back now, he should have recommended anti-spasmodic medication but, instead, he prescribed Palfium, a potent morphine-type drug, stronger than heroin, and no longer available.
In hindsight I was addicted from the first dose. I didn’t get high on the pills — there was no euphoria. But when I took them, I felt ‘normal’ — the world-weariness of everyday life was lifted.
After finishing my one-month course, I needed more, but the doctor refused. So at the pharmacy each morning I’d have a swig of a codeine linctus, the sort you buy over the counter for a cough.
If I couldn’t get my hands on over-the- counter medicine, I’d take a couple of pills here and there from the dispensary. I always knew how much to take. I wasn’t falling down or slurring. I was functioning at a high level.
outwardly, I was a smartly presented young man and good at my job. In fact, throughout my career, I appeared to the outside world as a success, writing for the leading journal of my profession and even setting up a dispensary in an impoverished part of the world.
But I was leading a double life and as time went on I became more dependent on codeine. And as my tolerance for the drug grew, the dose went up and over-thecounter pills weren’t always doing the trick.
When I was caught taking drugs from the pharmacy I lost my job. So, I had to find another way to feed my habit — even if it meant breaking the law.
I started to forge private prescriptions — these are written on notepaper rather than an NhS prescription pad; I’d put a real doctor’s name on it.
This way I was taking 30 or 40 tablets of prescription dihydrocodeine a day (a strong painkiller) and a huge dose of codeine — enough to kill a normal person, but not someone with as high a tolerance as I had.
To avoid getting caught, I’d go all over the country to get my ‘medicine’ from various pharmacies. But then I got lazy and ventured out less from my local area. one day, two policemen turned up at my house — I was living with my parents — and arrested me for obtaining drugs by deception.
My behaviour back then may seem mad but I always knew what I was doing was wrong. I just couldn’t stop.
I now think I might have been more susceptible to addiction because I’d previously suffered a head injury in a cycling accident.
Research has shown that people with traumatic brain injuries can have higher levels of drug abuse.
I was given a six-month suspended sentence and placed on probation. I ended up in front of a Fitness to Practise hearing and was told I could not work as a pharmacist until I could prove I was capable of doing so.
It was a year before I returned to the industry.
As well as the shame this brought on my family, my problem affected my other relationships, too.
I met my wife-to-be in my late 30s, we married in the early eighties and later had a son.
At first she was unaware of my habit, which I hadn’t kicked, although I was reduced to overthe- counter remedies. I used to ask her to get cough syrup for me, but it never crossed her mind that it was so addictive.
But my problem gradually became more obvious — I’d have mood swings if I didn’t get my codeine. I could be unbearable, irritable and manipulative.
Addiction is a very selfish condition. All you think about is your fix. And because my wife was always worrying about me she had to give up her own career as a teacher and become an assistant. She also gained weight and now has type 2 diabetes. I now realise she wasn’t looking after herself.
And as is often the case in such situations, she thought she could make me better. She tried to stop me buying codeine.
But it was only when she had been to organisations for family members of addicts that she realised she couldn’t cure me. The motivation had to come from me.
I did try to give up many times. over the years I sought help from the GP and was referred to an addiction unit. But it didn’t work. I also tried rehab. But again, that failed. And while I did eventually stop taking codeine, I replaced it with alcohol.
I’m lucky I have such a caring wife — she stood by me while others would have given up. It was thanks to her that eventually, ten years ago, I sought help from Pharmacist Support, which helps pharmacists with anything from work to health issues.
And this was where things started to change. Six years ago, my son broke his ankle and was prescribed the painkiller dihydrocodeine.
once again I had a supply of codeine at home. But this time I was thinking of taking it for a different outcome — to end it all.
AND then the phone rang. It was Pharmacist Support calling to see how I was. Normally I would say I was fine. That day my response was different: ‘I’m not well.’ This time I finally had my epiphany. While I was undergoing treatment at a rehab clinic aimed at medical professionals, an anaesthetist came in for help. She was very drunk, talking loudly and arrogantly. I thought: ‘That’s what I must look like to the patients.’
It was the turning point. I vowed never to touch alcohol or drugs like codeine again and I never have. I’ve since learned the anaesthetist who unwittingly inspired me wasn’t able to, and has died.
For me now life is brilliant. While we don’t have a lot, we have our own house and car and I’m grateful for what I have.
As well as working as a locum, I help out at the local Narcotics Anonymous and I have lectured on prescription and over-thecounter drug addiction and where you can go to get medical help.
When used correctly codeine is a useful painkiller, but GPs do have to think more about what they’re prescribing. Too many of us are paying the price in ruined lives.