An epic voyage cast adrift in a sea of tears and whingeing
FRANKLY, if i were the former Special Forces veteran and TV presenter Ant Middleton, i would be mightily miffed. The Special Boat Service excommando navigated a rowing boat crewed largely by rookies across 4,000 miles of the Pacific to recreate captain Bligh’s momentous voyage after the infamous Mutiny on the Bounty in 1789.
it’s a historical first. But the feat has been trivialised by the five-part documentary series Mutiny (c4) and turned into standard reality TV fare: all trite soundbites and personality clashes.
From the moment the little boat with its six oars and two small sails was cast adrift in mid-ocean, the show was much more about the squabbles and infighting among the crew than any history lessons.
We discovered more than anyone ever needed to hear about a Scouse former jailbird called chris, who bragged that his role on the boat was to be an adventurer, and who played rebel for the cameras every time his skipper gave him an order.
one of his shipmates was a tubby londoner who reckoned his main talent in life was a bottomless capacity for beer. A couple of the others spent the first four days heaving over the sides.
All this proved a depressing
RECIPE OF THE DAY: What’s the meat dish we Brits eat most often? According to Mary Berry Everyday (BBC2), it’s the Italian pasta favourite, spaghetti bolognese. Mind you, if you’re not as posh as Mary, you probably call it ‘mince’.
reminder that there’s no human achievement that cannot be reduced by reality TV cameras to a succession of toilet gags, shallow whinges and tearful group hugs.
Be thankful the first men on the Moon didn’t have hand-held videocams in the Apollo 11 capsule.
instead of his ‘ one giant leap’ quote, astronaut Neil Armstrong would have stepped off his spaceship bleating about how this was ‘totally the toughest challenge i’ve ever faced’, before wiping tears off his helmet.
in fact, there really is an exceptional story behind the making of Mutiny. Producer Sophie Todd has revealed how a support ship tracked the tiny boat for six weeks, shooting in heavy seas and even dodging a tsunami after a major earthquake.
The production crew had to transfer the video footage from the boat twice a day, but with no wifi link this meant floating barrels on ropes across the waves so the cameras could be handed over.
To ensure the rowers remained totally isolated, they were not allowed to make eye contact with the unit on the support vessel. None of this was revealed in the final edit, of course. The one thing you never get from reality TV is actual reality.
Writer chris chibnall’s ambition with Broadchurch (iTV) is to depict the reality of a rape investigation in a provincial town. At times, this can be painfully slow-going.
Several scenes, such as the local editor’s soapbox speech about the importance of weekly newspapers and the vicar’s moan about dwindling congregations, were weary stuff.
But the cast, especially the phenomenal Julie Hesmondhalgh as rape survivor Trish, keep disrupting textbook passages with moments of dynamite.
During a counselling session, she gasped: ‘i feel so ashamed — i kind of wish he’d just killed me.’ Her conviction chilled the bone.
olivia colman and David Tennant, as detectives Miller and Hardy, used the same technique, peeling away layers with their persistent questions to reveal shocking truths, such as Trish’s admission that, on the morning of the rape, she’d had sex with a stranger she contacted over the internet.
it may be slow, but it’s also unmissable.