The dastardly Mr Deedles

The Futures Industry’s annual conference in Florida’s Boca Raton last week featured an appearance from David Cameron, who’d been invited by City tycoon and former Tory treasurer Michael Spencer. Delivering a speech after lunch, the ex-PM thanked organisers ‘for taking in an unemployed man and giving him a hot meal’. Pure dross, but I fear sycophantic audiences lap this sort of thing up.

Peter Barron, the whining public affairs chief of Google, under fire for neo-Nazi footage and other offensive material on YouTube, may also want to address another video nasty. YouTube also carries footage of The Bad Things, the band in which ex-Newsnight editor Barron, 54, appears on guitar and vocals. The group are described as ‘a mix of rockabilly and country-tinged R&B’. Grim viewing.

Goldman Sachs’s lantern- jawed European boss Richard Gnodde says he’ll begin relocating hundreds of the bank’s staff to other European cities ahead of Brexit. Any chance South African-born Gnodde, 55, who boasts a £135m fortune, will be among them? Heavens, no. He and his redoubtable wife Kara are fixtures on London’s glamorous fundraising scene. They’re both proud trus- tees of the Kew Foundation, which raises money for the Royal Botanic Gardens. It’s one of the most exclusive charity boards in the world. The Gnoddes are going Gnowhere.

Japanese bank Nomura has hired England rugby coach Eddie Jones as an advisor. The City has been kind to English rugby stars. World Cup winner Dan Luger is an equities broker for Tavira Securities. Last week, former fly-half Andy Goode announced he was joining the sales team at Moneycorp. Some suggest rugby’s ear biting and aftershave drinking is more than ample training for the trading floor.

Following Chancellor Philip Hammond’s embarrassing budget U-turn, Defence Secretary Michael Fallon is discussed as a potential replacement. Fallon certainly won’t frighten august City types. He’s held a clutch of directorships, was a whip under Lady Thatcher and enjoys a cocktail or two.