Who said the Queen pops up in his dreams playing the bagpipes?
As she turns 91 next week, try our off-beat quiz on her life
MILLIONS of words have been written and stories told about the Queen. From how, as a young girl, she played the part of Prince Florizel in Cinderella in a pantomime, to her not needing either a passport or a driving licence; or that she’s owned more than 30 corgis, to the fact Madame Tussauds has displayed 23 different waxworks of her over the years.
Here, to mark her 91st birthday next Friday, the Mail’s veteran Coffee Break contributor DONNIE KERR has set a special quiz about her life... 1. How was the Queen described by the Chicago Daily News on her first state visit to the U.S. in 1957? A. ‘A doll, a living doll!’ B. ‘A real lollapalooza!’ C. ‘An English rose with a thorny consort!’ 2. A drunk prankster in North Wales was fined £100 for disorderly conduct in 2002 after he pinched the Queen’s... what? A. White kid-leather loo seat-cover that Her Majesty never travels without B. A Jubilee baton which travelled 60,000 miles around the world C. Her cheek, and said: ‘You can reign over me any time, my dearest!’ 3. Complete this 2011 headline: Queen cuts her costs by... A. Reducing payments to Prince Andrew B. Ordering palace staff to shop at Lidl after giving the budget retailer a royal warrant C. A total of £1.8 million 4. What did BBC royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell say about the Queen’s corgis? A. ‘They did me the honour of peeing on my suede shoes’ B. ‘They know nothing of her status’ C. ‘They are foul-smelling vicious little buggers’ 5. Who once claimed that the Queen told them she ‘wouldn’t have recognised you with your clothes on’? A. The actor Ewan McGregor B. Cilla Black C. The swimmer Sharron Davies 6. Which ‘useful phrase’ did the German tabloid newspaper Bild print for the Queen’s visit to Berlin in 2004? A. ‘Excuse me, Your Majesty. You will have two more potato dumplings, please’ B. ‘Excuse me, Your Majesty. Is Herr Philip doing the shootings with his gun?’ C. ‘Excuse me, Your Majesty. I’m afraid the wind is blowing off the royal hat’ 7. Princess Michael of Kent once revealed the Queen was a gifted mimic who specialised in what? A. Impressions of Margaret Thatcher, Daffy Duck and the Rev Ian Paisley B. Norfolk and cockney accents C. Farmyard impressions 8. Who said: ‘The Queen was quite a stunner — who knows what might have happened if I’d met her in [nightclub] Tramp’? A. George Best B. Mick Jagger C. Michael Winner 9. What was the name of the firm that supplied portable loos for a service attended by the Queen at St Paul’s Cathedral in 2005? A. Mobile Thrones B. Royal Flush C. Bog Standards 10. What wedding present did the Queen receive from the Government of Queensland? A. Matching ‘his and hers’ koala-skin hot water bottles B. 500 cases of tinned pineapple C. A pair of solid silver marsupial-shaped ashtrays 11. At the Queen’s show of presents before her wedding, a crochet tray-cloth made with thread woven by the Indian independence fighter Mahatma Gandhi was identified by her disapproving granny as what? A. A horrible loincloth thing B. A cheap and grubby napkin C. A frightful armchair cover 12. What happened when the Queen visited Susan McCarron’s Glasgow council house in 1999? A. They had a cup of tea together and a cosy wee chat B. Mrs McCarron’s husband invited Prince Philip to go to the local pub for a ‘bevvy, or two’ C. The royal limousine was vandalised 13. What did author Hammond Innes claim the Queen once told him at a literary party? A. That her own special party piece was an old nonsense song called Suzanna’s A Funicle Man B. That she once attended a Tupperware party thrown by one of her mother’s friends C. That she had knocked off a policeman’s helmet on VE Day 14. Complete this 2000 headline: Queen spends £5,000 on... A. Christmas stockings for pets B. Jigsaws C. Polishing royal jets 15. How did the men of the Durham Light Infantry celebrate the Queen’s Coronation in Korea on the 1,041st day of the war? A. By toasting her with a special issue of Double Maxim brown ale B. By leaping from their trenches, giving three cheers for the Queen and then jumping back before the Chinese could open fire C. With a football match against the Black Watch (it ended a draw with three broken legs apiece) 16. What was the prize won by the Queen’s horse Shining Strand in the novice hurdle stakes at Wetherby in 2005? A. A luxury campervan B. A night for two in The Nags Head, Pickhill — plus £5,018 spending money C. Having her portrait painted in oils by Lucian Freud 17. Who once claimed the Queen pops up in his dreams ‘playing the bagpipes’? A. Jeremy Paxman B. Spike Milligan C. Alex Salmond 18. What happened after Ray Bellisario, the so-called ‘first paparazzo’, jumped out of the bushes in Windsor Great Park to take pictures of her in 1963? A. He was savaged by three corgis and the Queen’s Piper B. He agreed an out-of-court settlement with Prince Philip after his horse-whipping C. He was arrested but discharged by the court at Ascot and ordered to pay 70p costs 19. What made the Queen and Prince Philip burst out laughing during their 1971 tour of Canada? A. The paparazzi being chased by a pregnant beaver B. Mail columnist Nigel Dempster telling them that back in Britain the country was snowbound C. A bucking one-ton bull which leapt into the Press enclosure and terrorised journalists 20. Files released in 2004 revealed the Queen’s Coronation was marred by what? A. Lavatory paper being stolen from Westminster Abbey B. Numerous house fires caused by over-heating television sets C. Forty-three bayonet ‘mishaps’ where soldiers’ skin was cut while the troops were turning corners 21. What did Time say artist Pietro Annigoni’s 1969 portrait of the Queen make her look like? A. A Bolshevik revolutionary B. An escapee from The Addams Family C. Someone who regrets not having taken the Polaroid option 22. What was former Australian PM Paul Keating dubbed by the Press after putting his arm round the Queen’s waist in 1992? A. Cuddles Keating B. The Lizard of Oz C. Bruce Grabb’er-arse 23. What tune did President Gerald Ford and the Queen dance to after a White House banquet in 1976? A. Dancing Queen B. Hail To The Chief C. The Lady Is A Tramp 24. Which new product was launched by the Buckingham Palace shop in 2011? A. A Prince Philip toy (£19.99) B. The Grenadier Guardsman rubber duck (£5.95) C. ‘God Save The Queen’ superstrength lager (£12.99) 25. Who did the Queen reportedly once describe as having knees that stiffen but do not curtsy? A. Dame Edna Everage B. Cherie Blair C. Margaret Thatcher Answers: 1A, 2B, 3C, 4B, 5B, 6C, 7B, 8A, 9A, 10B, 11A, 12A, 13C, 14C, 15B, 16B, 17A, 18C, 19C, 20A, 21A, 22B, 23C, 24B, 25B.