Grieving husband slept next to wife’s body for SIX nights
WHEN Wendy Davison died at home at the age of just 50, her devoted husband Russell was determined she should not be taken from him straight away.
Instead, he chose to keep his wife’s body at home for six days after she died.
Mr Davison, also 50, slept next to her coffin after she passed away in April from cervical cancer. He said it gave friends and family the chance to say goodbye and was a comforting experience for him and their children.
He said he could not bear the thought of her being removed a few hours after death and urged others to think differently about what they do following the death of a loved one.
He said: ‘I would describe the process as like an emotional decompression chamber, allowing us to start to come to terms with our loss while Wendy is still with us.
‘The idea of her being taken away in a plastic body bag hours after death is so alien to us all now we really don’t think we could have taken it.
‘Without exception, everybody who has spent time with us and Wendy’s body said how right it felt and how this should be the way we treat our dead – not sending them off to the funeral director as is pretty much always the custom now.’
Mr Davison said his wife had been involved in all of the planning beforehand.
He posted on Facebook that, five days after her death, she had not begun to decay but ‘has started to change in appearance as her body starts to relax into its next stage but she still looks beautiful’.
After six days they took her body from the house in Derby to the crematorium in their car, informing police that they were moving the body. ‘The police didn’t really know what to say,’ he said.
Mrs Davison, who ran a property company with her husband in Derby, was diagnosed with cancer in 2006. Three years ago, doctors told her she had six months so live so the couple bought a caravan and went travelling around Europe.
Mr Davison said their ‘gypsy travels’ came to an end in September when his wife’s pain ‘became too much to bear’.
She spent time in hospital but was ‘determined to die at home’ and was nursed there by her two sons Luke Nichols 25, and Dylan Nichols, 22, and Mr Davison’s sons, Benjamin and Dominic Davison.
In an open letter describing the family’s decision, Mr Davison said: ‘It has been a very tough time for us all.
‘Wendy suffered so much pain every day but never once complained and has never felt sorry for herself, or said anything about it being unfair or anything like that. She has shown more bravery, courage and grace than I thought it was possible to have.
‘Wendy stopped eating on April 10, she stopped drinking on April 15 and was pretty much sedated from then on. She did have moments of communication near the end – enough to tell me she loved me and that she was no longer in pain. That meant the world to me at that moment.
‘Wendy died very peacefully, fully sedated, in no pain, in mine and Dylan’s arms with our ever-faithful dog Elvis snuggled up next to her too.
‘After a while we gently and lovingly washed Wendy’s body, dressed her and placed her in her cocoon – a word we prefer to use instead of coffin – and it was very special.
‘She looked absolutely beautiful, just like she always did in life: no effort, no makeup, just radiant beauty.’ Mr Davi- son said it was at that point his ‘heart started to break’.
He said: ‘I cannot believe how much I sobbed – it seemed to last for ten hours.’
‘For a long time I have been determined to have Wendy at home when she died. I wanted us to take care of her.’
He added: ‘Having Wendy’s body at home … proved to be such a beautiful and comforting experience for me, the boys and all who took part. Something very beautiful happened in our house and I can’t help feeling Wendy made that happen.’
Charles Cowling, director of the Good Funeral Guide, said Mr Davison, as the nearest relative executor, was ‘perfectly entitled to take possession of’ his wife’s body.
He added: ‘There is no legal obligation to use an undertaker – this is just an agent for doing things most people don’t want to do. This man should be respected for wanting to grieve in his own way.’
‘Courage and grace’