Note to self: a bride’s train is NOT a real train
MY WEDDING ADVICE – PART 1
1 Before accepting a wedding proposal, first ask yourself if you want to marry the person who has just proposed. A useful question to ask yourself is: ‘Would I want to be married to this man?’
2 WEDDING proposals traditionally take place on bended knee. But if a man bends his knee, it does not necessarily mean that he is making a marriage proposal. He may just be picking up a piece of litter, tying his shoelace, or weeding the garden, in which case it is best to say nothing.
3 WONDERING what to wear for your wedding? Solve the problem by putting on a ‘wedding dress’. This is a dress specially designed to be worn at your wedding — hence the name.
4 SAVE confusion by remembering the exact day when your wedding is due to take place. one way to do this is by putting a circle around that special date in your diary or calendar.
5 If you are planning to invite guests to your wedding, be sure to send out invitations in advance. Many couples only get round to posting them once they have noticed that no one has turned up, but by then it’s too late.
6 To AVOID embarrassment, when sending invitations out to guests, remember to include a message that the event to which they are being invited is a wedding, and not a beach barbecue or a ‘ sleepover’. no one likes to arrive at a church or register office wearing bathing clothes and/or pyjamas.
7 WEDDING invitations should include the name of the bride and the groom, so that guests know in advance who they are going to see getting married.
8 If IT is raining on your ‘ big day’, there is a danger you will get wet, particularly if it is pouring. dress accordingly, but before you walk down the aisle, remember to remove your wellingtons, raincoat and sou’wester, as they may affect your overall ‘look’.
9 THOUGH some of our older churches can be cold, particularly in winter, a thick woolly hat on the bride is inadvisable.
10 MANY brides like to carry a bunch of flowers. Potted plants are best avoided. Carrying anything larger than a rhododendron bush or Christmas tree might also make your walk down the aisle awkward and uncomfortable, unless you have hired special ‘helpers’ in advance.
11 CACTUSES are also best avoided.
12 THE bride’s posy should be watered in advance. Stopping to water the flowers as you go down the aisle could well prove inconvenient. But if you do wish to water your flowers ‘along the way’, then do be sure to bring a watering can with you. Many churches do not provide long-reach indoor hoses.
13 BRIDESMAIDS are traditionally dressed in lilac, mauve or avocado, to make the bride look better than they do. Bridesmaids should walk behind the bride rather in front of her, so as to avoid confusing the groom.
14 THE long bit at the back of a bride’s dress is known as the ‘train’. Traditionally, it is not a real train, as this could hamper progress, particularly if it fails to run on time. Also, a real train might be full of commuters who, strictly speaking, have not been invited to the wedding.
15 If your bridesmaid steps on your train by mistake or ‘ accidentally on purpose’, just give it a quick tug and she will be sent flying.
16 WHEN the vicar says, ‘repeat after me’, this will be his secret signal for you to repeat after him. you should then repeat the words he says. IMPORTANT: do not repeat the words ‘repeat after me’, even though he has just asked you to.
17 WHEN you are saying your ‘marriage vows’, try to look your groom in the eye. Saying the words while staring at the floor or at the best man is not considered good form.
18 If you want a hymn to be sung at the ceremony, why not pick it well in advance? This will prevent a free-for-all, with each member of the congregation singing his or her own favourite hymn, and the organist unable to ‘keep up’.
19 CONFETTI is traditionally thrown after, rather than before or during, the wedding ceremony. rice may also be thrown, but it should not be hurled, or fired, as this may cause offence and/or personal injury.
20 Confetti is traditionally made of lightweight material. Anything weighing 1lb or over is best avoided.