BLIND DATE
Every week, we send a couple for dinner and ask them to report back on their blind date, and throw in a little advice to help the rest of us.
This week robin Sandler and Mel Chaplin went to the Alimentum restaurant in Cambridge. Mel, 47, is a mum of two teenagers. Widowed nine years ago, she has project managed the build of a house, and started her own business in South Cambridgeshire. Landscape gardener robin is 46. He has a daughter, 17, and lives in Bedfordshire.
MEL, 47, SAYS:
I’M reALLy tall — 5ft 9in — so height is a bit of an issue for me. When I walked in and saw robin is taller than me I was very relieved. I’d been nervously pacing about outside the restaurant, but when I saw his lovely smile I knew I was going to have a great evening.
From the word go, it was very relaxed as he’s easy to talk to. He was interested in me and my life, which was encouraging. I’ve gone out with some men who rattle off their life story in the first ten minutes without pausing, which can be very off-putting.
robin said he would prefer not to focus on past relationships, which kept the conversation light-hearted — that also helped.
We laughed about how we ended up on this date — we had both been put forward by friends.
I liked his realistic attitude to dating as he said online dating was like a sweet shop, whereas this blind date felt more organic. We talked about our shared interests of skiing and walking, and being outdoors, and touched a bit on our children.
I didn’t even realise my old university friend had put me forward for this. years ago we were having lunch and she was saying how hard it was to meet a nice guy. I saw she just needed a bit of a push.
She spotted a gorgeous man having lunch with his parents, so I gave him my card, and told him my friend thought he was lovely. They are now happily married with two children. To repay me, now that I find myself single, she put me forward for this.
My life is pretty full and I haven’t really put myself ‘out there’ much. I find it harder second time around because my children are my priority. It makes me realise how vulnerable I am, as a woman with children.
A lot of men have a blank canvas, or only see their children part-time, and haven’t got the commitments I do. For the right person, I would make more time, but I wouldn’t be as free as many men might want.
The restaurant was gorgeous — fine dining with lots of small portions beautifully presented — although I think robin found them too little. I was laughing to myself afterwards wondering if he was off to get a kebab after he left. But I enjoyed it — and I didn’t not fancy him! We were the last people left in the restaurant and I really enjoyed his company.
We had that awful awkward moment at the end of the date when you don’t know what to do, so I sort of kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for a lovely night.
earlier the photographer had come to my house straight from robin’s, and I asked him if he
thought we’d get on. He wrote his answer and put it in an envelope and I decided to read it when I got back. When I did, it said: ‘yes!’ So the next morning I found robin on Facebook and sent him a picture of the note. He sent me back a video giving me a thumbs up. We’re arranging to see each other again to see if there is something there. I’d love to see where this could go . . . LIKE: He’s very easy to get on with, and I found him both interesting and relaxed. REGRETS: None at all. CAB OR COFFEE? Coffee. VERDICT: 9/10
ROBIN, 46, SAYS:
I’ve BeeN searching for my soulmate for some time — I split with my daughter’s mother when she was two, and have had a few relationships over the years. I turned 46 in January and with my daughter growing up fast — she’s about to take her driving test — it’s about time I did something like this. Although the thought of a blind date filled me with horror.
To meet someone with shared interests and attitude to life would be lovely.
I like to keep fit, have run a few marathons and am off to trek in the Himalayas in November, so I’d love to meet someone who loves the outdoors and has the same energy.
I’ve done a bit of online dating but have mixed feelings about it. I find it hard to put myself out there, and time is a real issue for me, as I have a very busy life between my daughter, my business and my hobbies.
I was petrified going in to the restaurant and I got there early. Then Mel came in, on time. My first thought was: ‘How on earth was I going to live up to her?!’
She was absolutely lovely, tall and stylish and blonde, and all the things I was hoping for. She was perfect.
It wasn’t awkward and from the start we got on great. She’s very good company.
We spoke a lot about the date, and how our friends put us forward, and that we were both apprehensive and not sure what to expect.
We chatted about holidays and hobbies, but kept clear of past relationships because I don’t feel that’s good first- date conversation. We kept it all quite light- hearted, with nothing too deep.
I wasn’t very impressed with the restaurant I’m afraid. I love good food but this was so pretentious, if it hadn’t been for Mel I wouldn’t have stayed.
But I didn’t go on the date for the food, and Mel was great company, and I was genuinely interested in what she had to say.
I did feel we had chemistry and got on very well, and hopefully I will see her again.
She found me on Facebook so we’ve been messaging a little since and will try and meet up again to see where it might lead.
I’d like to do something fun and outdoorsy but I appreciate that might not be as easy for her because of her family commitments.
It didn’t bother me that she has younger children and I respect the fact she doesn’t have the same freedom as me.
I think there is a genuine possibility of romance.
LIKE: She is really attractive and interesting. I like her.
REGRETS: None. CAB OR COFFEE? Coffee. VERDICT: 9/10