Out of the mouths of babes

IT WAS a lovely day in a Yorkshire town centre. As it was market day the town was busy, but this did not stop council workers painting the double yellow lines. A passing family watched the thick bright yellow paint pour onto the road. The two young boys stared in amazement. One turned to their mother and said: ‘Mam, why are they pouring custard on the road?’ Ken Smith, Bedale, N. Yorks.

Wordywise

UNION favourite. GRAVY — British Roger Leece, Gosberton, Lincs. FOURTUNE — singing quartet. J. W. Scully, Bognor Regis, W. Sussex. ROLL MODEL — bread one looks up to. Mrs Sylvia Dugard, Witney, Oxon. CANDIED PROMISES — electioneering in the weeks after Easter. Godfrey Holmes, Withernsea, E. Yorks.

THE SWEEPEY — Assistant Commissioner’s wife pushes DCI Regan up the chimney as her husband returns from truncated Freemasons do. Mark Wraith, Newark, Notts.

One-line Philosophers

I’vE laughed at life and cried at death, but there is no greater joy than three points at the weekend. Warren Brown, Falmouth, Cornwall.

MY HUSBAND’S always talking about his former fiancee — she was one of his near Mrs. Mrs V. Ashton, London N14.

ThisEngland