HARRY THE PRINCE OF HUGS
We’ve had more than our usual share of nastiness in recent days.
It’s not just the awful events inn Manchester and London: this General election campaign has been so toxic, so horribly tribal and hate-filled, that I feel I’ve been swimming in bile for the past six weeks.
So it was genuinely uplifting yesterday to see the pictures of Prince Harry, on a flying visit too Sydney for the launch of the Invictus Games,, homing in for a soggy full-on hug with Daphnee Dunne, a 97-year-old war widow.
She had waited more than seven hours in thee rain to greet him. It wasn’t the first time thee two had met; during a previous visit in 2015 he had spotted her wearing her first husband’s victoria Cross. ‘He got close to me and he said: “I know what that is,” ’ she said at the time. ‘And I said: “Well, you should.” ’
To see Harry embracing her was a reminder that despite so much overwhelming evidence to the contrary, basic human kindness has nott yet gone completely out of fashion.
There was also something bittersweet about this meeting of two people, generations apart, who have both experienced immeasurable loss in their lives. For Mrs Dunne, her husband; for Harry his mother, Princess Diana.
This year marks the 20th anniversary of Diana’s death in August 1997, shortly after Tony Blair swept New Labour to power. It was a defining moment for the country, the Royal Family and, of course, for Prince Harry, who was just a few weeks shy of his 13th birthday.
What’s so striking about this picture — and of Harry in general, a young man who seems to have a passionate desire to help others, and especially those whose lives have been marred by death or illness — is how much his spontaneity and talent for connecting with people brings to mind his late mother.
Put simply, Harry is a hugger. A young man for whom reaching out to embrace another human being in moments of joy or sorrow is the most natural thing in the world.
Joan Collins once said the people are either radiators or fridges. Princess Diana was definitely the former, something that no doubt contributed to her struggles within a Royal Family of a notoriously chilly disposition.
As a woman who craved warmth and affection — and who sadly didn’t always get it — she compensated by offering it to others. From the very beginning, when she was photographed surrounded by small children clinging to her at nursery to the iconic photographs of her hugging Aids patients ostracised by others, she seemed to radiate goodwill.
SHewas before her time. As numerous scientific studies have now shown, human contact and especially hugging has physical benefits. It triggers the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which in turn slows the heart rate and causes a drop in stress hormones. Researchers have even found that hugging can reduce the chances of catching a cold, since the release of oxytocin improves immune function.
It’s true that anyone who ever met Diana spoke of her ineffable generosity of spirit, her capacity for empathy and making other people feel special. All traits that she seems to have passed on to Harry.
Whether he’s comforting a sick child or enveloping a sporting hero in the moment of victory, Harry is never more at home than when he is enfolding someone in his arms, aware a good hug can connect powerfully with the poor and the shy.
Who can fail to melt at the picture of Harry hugging a puppy at the tender age of three while on a rare happy family holiday in Majorca? He may have not had much time with his mother, but what he had was defined by a level of openly demonstrative affection not previously seen among the Royal Family.
There are innumerable pictures of her and the children snuggling up together or holding hands.
Harry himself always seemed like the huggiest of children, never happier than when close to his mother.
In recent months, he has spoken candidly about the sorrow of losing her and of the emotional complications it caused. Clearly, the love she gave him in their short time together was more than enough to last a lifetime.
It may be a mean and nasty old world we’re living in, where evil stalks the innocent and hatred clouds judgment. But as long as people can reach out to one another, as long as we retain the capacity to heal the hurt with one simple gesture, then there is still hope.
Thank you, Prince Harry, for reminding us of that.