GLASTONBURY

is now for the rich and their offspring, but comic Dom Joly plans to hold his own festival at home in the Cotswolds. Court jester to the Chipping Norton set, Joly will celebrate his 50th birthday with performances by rockers Babybird and Nineties rapper Betty Boo. ‘I couldn’t hack the idea of camping and mud and chemical loos and free-range hippies,’ he admits. ‘I’m never going to beat Clarkson, who had Squeeze and The Who at his 50th.’