More spending? But that’s our riff, wailed the Lefties
THOUGH a few Left-wing grievance jockeys wailed about the Tory-DUP pact, I have seen the Commons crosser. In a hung parliament in a parliamentary democracy, parliamentary deals are, well, inevitable.
The Government had agreed to more state spending in Northern Ireland to secure support from the Unionists. Lefties, basically: ‘More spending? You can’t do that. That’s our riff!’
Labour’s Emily Thornberry put on her dominatrix face and called the arrangement ‘shabby and reckless’. ‘Quite simply a pathetic little deal!’ cried the SNP’s Peter Wishart. ‘Scraping the bottom of the barrel,’ reckoned the Lib Dems’ Alistair Carmichael (a Whip in the Cameron/Clegg Coalition).
Miss Thornberry, before and after her speech, kept laughing and pulling jokey expressions and rotating one of her deliciously chubby little ankles, as plump and no doubt juicy as supermarket chicken thighs. She almost kicked off one shoe, she was spinning that ankle so much. Most exercise she’s taken for weeks.
And yet, to the TV cameras, her ladyship was claiming to be appalled and angry and… well, I could go on but like so much in her politics, it was a facade. Nigel Dodds (DUP, N Belfast) said he was tempted, in the name of transparency, to publish letters from the recent past in which both Labour and the SNP sought deals with the DUP. Laughter.
Miss Thornberry claimed yesterday’s agreement would imperil the Good Friday Agreement. It took a hushed intervention from Ian Paisley Jr (DUP, N Antrim) to express his ‘utter despair’ that Labour was claiming Northern Ireland would ‘go back to war’ because more money was going to be spent on its public services.
Mr Paisley’s seriousness should be watched on replay, time and again, by the immature Miss Thornberry.
From the Commons yesterday, it seemed more likely that the people who would be going to war would be Scots Nationalists. David Linden (SNP, Glasgow E) became indignant as he claimed that ‘the pavements of Northern Ireland are being paved in gold’. ‘What extra money is there for Scotland?’ grunted Joanna Cherry (SNP, Edinburgh SW), really more a hairy gooseberry than something as sweet and perky as a cherry.
The Government’s announcement was made by Damian Green, the one-time Europhile who has been made First Secretary by his old friend Theresa May. The Prime Minister was on the front bench as Mr Green made his late-afternoon statement. He put on his very deepest voice to underline what a grave announcement this was.
I must confess I had never thought of Green as top Cabinet material but yesterday he found composure and decency.
Some Opposition MPs, unhappy that the DUP were ‘social conservatives’, lined up to make round-eyed laments about the plight of Northern Irish women who have to travel to England for abortions. Mr Green dealt with these sensitive points with skilful sympathy. For the Scots Nats, it was all about money.
‘Scotland will get nothing out of this deal,’ thundered a two-dimensional Mr Wishart. It’s a wonder he doesn’t use that line of argument when the Commons is debating international development policy.
SIrJeffrey Donaldson (DUP, Lagan Valley) said it was ‘a really remarkable day… really bonkers’ when Lefties were attacking more money for schools, roads and housing. When someone else argued that it was odd for Labour to complain about extra cash for disadvantaged communities, a Labour woman said from her seat: ‘It’s to give you an advantage!’ There speaks the politician.
They see everything through the prism of self-advancement. For Chris Bryant (Lab, rhondda), the hot issue was whether or not the DUP should continue to receive ‘Short’ money which is given to Opposition parties.
Julian Lewis (Con, New Forest E) hoped the deal would ensure that military personnel who served in Ulster will not be hounded in the courts. James Duddridge (Con, rochford & Southend E) suggested the Government seek a similar deal with the many Labour MPs who cannot abide Jeremy Corbyn.
Fashion note: Andrea Leadsom, newly promoted to Commons Leader, wore orange.