Juice fanatics trying to put the squeeze on you

First there was the misery of some restaurants giving you a thimble of different wines to pair with each overpriced course. Ugh. What is wrong, as Bridget Jones would say, with a nice beaker or two of chardonnay to get you through the entire night?

Now diners must prepare themselves for the fresh horror of ‘juice-matching’. As we speak, juice sommeliers are being trained to offer diners à la carte juices to complement their meals. Apple, orange or grapefruit, madam? Nothing so mundane, i’m afraid.

these are ‘juices with attitude’ and include fermented, soaked and steeped juices. it’s part of a move towards more ‘mindful’ eating, where meals are based around physical need (hunger) as opposed to emotional need (greed).

Look. No one over the age of ten should drink juice with their dinner. And if you want extra chips with your pommes frites, go ahead. Before the juice sommelier gets here.