The dastardly Mr Deedes
City spinners Tulchan Communications have hired former Tory treasurer Lord Feldman as a senior advisor. His lordship, 51, already enjoys half a dozen other such roles, including a sinecure with Messina, the political strategists the Tories paid £400,000 to during the 2015 election. With so much moolah to be made, small wonder Feldman’s had such little time for the Lords. During his seven years in the upper house, he’s so far spoken just once.
Gallivanting Sports Direct owner Mike Ashley’s High Court appearance lays bare his relationship with Merrill Lynch, the merchant bankers who prepared his 2007 stock market float. As well as napping under tables during meetings, Ashley called Merrill’s legendary dealmaker Rupert Hume-Kendall a ‘dinosaur and a c***’ who should ‘do us a favour and f*** off.’ A court document surmises: ‘Mr Ashley was like no other client that anyone at Merrill Lynch had ever come across.’
A former Deutsche Bank trader, Lee Rolleston, 53, reveals his lifestyle at the bank was so hedonistic his client entertainment expenses far exceeded his six-figure pay cheque. Rolleston’s drinking spiralled out of control to such an extent he began taking his first sharpener at 11am. Now sober for 12 years, he’s a qualified counsellor offering advice to those struggling to cope with the City’s heavy boozing culture. Should 12-pints Mike Ashley have a word?
Unlovable ex-Treasury Minister Liam Byrne is interested in chairing the Business Select Committee following Iain Wright’s retirement from politics. Shiny- domed Byrne, 46, aka ‘Baldemort’, may struggle to command the same authority as the forensic Wright. He was the twit who left the guileless ‘there’s no money left’ note when Labour were booted from office.
Private bank Hoare & Co’s hallowed Fleet Street offices remain wonderfully unadjusted. Spears magazine describes recently passing the liveried doormen at the entrance, before moving upstairs to discover ‘maids decanting the claret and carving the ham beneath the reassurance of a grandfather clock’. Not something you’d see at your local branch of Metro bank, I feel sure.