Mum who had hysterectomy aged 28 to end ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ torment of PMS
‘I was a monster’
EVERY month mother-of-two Nicola James turned into a ‘Jekyll and Hyde monster’.
For about two weeks her rages made her smash plates and berate loved ones. She became a nightmare driver and nearly lost her job because of her anger.
The symptoms were eventually diagnosed as an extreme form of premenstrual syndrome, prompting the drastic solution of a hysterectomy at just 28.
Before her operation in January, the neonatal nursery nurse had only ‘four normal days a month’ as two weeks were blackened by her dark moods and she then had ten-day periods.
She discussed the surgery with steel worker husband Rhys, 31, and they decided to give up the chance to add to their family to enjoy a ‘normal’ life.
Mrs James, 29, said: ‘Since I’ve had the hysterectomy it’s been amazing. I’m living a normal life, I’ve got my life back. I’m not anxious or depressed any more, and my job is going really well.’
Her problems began when she first took the contraceptive Pill at 17. ‘I’ve always suffered terribly with hormonal changes,’ she said. ‘When I first went on the Pill, I became really depressed.’
After Mr and Mrs James had their daughters Seren, now nine, and Mali, six, the problem worsened. ‘I was so down after I had both my girls, doctors thought it might be postnatal depression,’ Mrs James added. ‘But I knew my own body and my own mind.
‘I thought it was hormonal, as I would feel really awful in the lead-up to my period. But when it started, I felt like a weight had been lifted – I was elated.’
From the age of 22, Mrs James, from Bridgend, South Wales, started experiencing mounting anger in the build-up to menstruation.
‘It was like a rage, bubbling up inside me,’ she said. ‘I’d shut friends and family out. I didn’t care about anything or how I treated people.
‘Poor Rhys had to put up with a lot, and the girls, too. I would get really bad road rage, screaming at other drivers and getting myself into a such a state that I would need to pull over to calm down. I’d smash plates and fall out with people all the time – even strangers in the supermarket.’
Other cases of her ‘ uncontrollable anger’ included breaking the baby gate and throwing the TV remote across the room. She added: ‘I’d apologise to everyone for what I had said, or how I had been. I was a monster, like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.’
Mrs James came close to losing her then job as a learning support officer last year, because of her aggressive attitude, and had to reduce her hours.
‘I’d have rows at work with my boss, saying things I shouldn’t have,’ she said.
The monthly mood change put a strain on her marriage and she even considered suicide.
‘Sex was out of the question,’ she added. ‘I didn’t want anyone to be around me for two weeks. I just retreated to my bed and did very little.’
In desperation, Mrs James researched her symptoms online and read about premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).
The condition involves debilitating period pain, which causes angry, irrational and volatile behaviour. ‘As soon as I saw PMDD online, I knew it was what I had,’ she said. A gynaecologist confirmed the diagnosis and Mrs James went on to have a hysterectomy at the Queen Charlotte’s and Chelsea Hospital in central London.
Recalling his wife’s extreme behaviour, Mr James said: ‘I felt so helpless. I couldn’t do anything to help Nicola.
‘Nicola means to world to me, so not being able to help her was awful.
‘It was upsetting to see some- one full of energy and confidence lacking in traits which I loved her for.’
PMDD affects around one in 20 women. It is diagnosed only if symptoms seriously affect a patient’s relationships or ability to function at work or school.