POINT

÷ VINCE CABLE is the ideal leader to take the Liberal Democrats into the abyss.

GRAHAM WATSON, Upminster, Essex.

÷ SEEING pictures of Gary Lineker sunning himself in exotic places (Mail), I couldn’t help but wonder, if he were to burn himself to a crisp, what flavour would he choose?

VINCENT HEFTER, Richmond, Surrey.

÷ WITH Brexit, we may be heading for the icebergs, as fear-mongers claim, or heading for open seas, but at least we are at the helm.

ALAN CHARLES SIMPSON, London E11.

÷ WHY would EU countries want their criminals back after Brexit (Mail)?

BILL HODGES, Eynesbury, Cambs.

÷ NHS chief Sir Andrew Morris claims men die younger as their wives nag them (Mail). No, it’s because they don’t heed advice given by their loving partners to drink less and exercise.

JUDITH HEREFORD, Mordiford, Hereford.

÷ THE talking park bench (Mail) reminded me of the first time I used an automated public toilet in Croydon. I put in my 10p and was surprised to be serenaded by Olivia NewtonJohn singing You’re The One That I Want.

PHILIP BRANNON, London SE25.

÷ WE TALK tough on terrorism, but police can’t chase ramraiders in case the darlings fall off their mopeds and graze their knees.

TERENCE MURPHY, London SE3.

÷ ROBBIE WILLIAMS says he suffers from ‘nocturnal sleeping-related eating disorder’. A cure may be a lock on the fridge door.

SANDRA PARSONS, Keston, Kent. FOR permission to copy cuttings for internal management and information purposes, please contact the Newspaper Licensing Agency (NLA), PO Box 101, Tunbridge Wells TN1 1WX. Tel: 01892 525273. e-mail: copy@nla.co.uk