SWEET — OR SHARING TOO MUCH?
POSING for pictures with wellpractised smiles, little Ruby and Lottie Tyler display a familiarity with the camera that belies their tender years.
As well they might — because since birth (and even before) the sisters, eight and five, have had every memorable moment photographed and shared on the internet.
From bath time to potty training, first smile to first taste of chocolate, thousands of images chronicling milestones big and small have been uploaded to social media by the girls’ proud mother Kimberley.
‘What’s the point of having pictures if nobody sees them?’ says Kimberley, 32, a full-time mother from Leicester married to Philip, 31, an engineering manager.
‘Posting our pictures online is the easiest way to share our daughters’ developments.’
She’s far from the only one who thinks so. Growing numbers of modern mothers feel compelled not only to photograph every detail of their child’s daily routine, but to share them on the internet.
The average parent now posts an astonishing 1,498 photos of their child online before they reach the age of five, fuelled by the ubiquity of mobile phone cameras and the positive comments they receive on social media in the form of ‘likes’.
But what effect is all of this having on our children?
And are those who grow up thinking it’s normal to have their life chronicled online turning into a generation of narcissists?
‘A child who is forever pictured then plastered online to be “liked” will receive the powerful message that their appearance is more important than their personality,’ says child psychologist Emma Kenny.
‘In our social media culture, children see early on there is an ideal image that should be presented, and are under great pressure to present themselves in a way that isn’t always real. This can promote narcissism.’
There can also be a risk to a child’s self- esteem. ‘ Parents often take many pictures in pursuit of the perfect image, sending the implicit message to their child that the discarded photos are not “good enough”,’ she warns.
‘Even small children realise the pictures
‘There’s nothing I’ve posted that I’m ashamed of’ ‘The girls love having their lives documented’
ultimately posted might not be a true reflection of themselves.’
Other experts warn that widespread photographic exposure puts children at risk of cyber-bullying later in their lives.
‘By revealing aspects of your child’s life, you are taking away their right to privacy,’ says psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos.
‘ There is a qualitative difference between the pictures parents put on their living room wall and those posted to hundreds or thousands of people online, which almost become a press release about your child over which you lose control.’
Kimberley — who has more than 2,600 pictures on photo- sharing platform Instagram and thousands more on social network Facebook — feels such concerns are unwarranted.‘ My children are perfectly happy being pictured,’ she says. ‘Often, they ask to be pictured, and they’re happy and very confident for their age.’
The first picture of her children that Kimberley shared on Facebook — where it is automatically shown to almost 600 people she has approved as ‘friends’ — was a scan of her unborn daughter Ruby, taken in 2009 when she was ten weeks pregnant. Ruby was then just 2.69 cm long.
Sister Lottie’s first picture was posted even earlier, at six weeks into Kimberley’s pregnancy in 2011, when the baby measured a mere 0.5 mm.
‘Posting pregnancy scans seemed the quickest way of telling loved ones, with a picture making family and friends take more notice of my news,’ she explains. ‘People were excited, which added to my excitement.’
In 2012, she started using Instagram and has more than 400 ‘followers’, who automatically see her posts — but while Instagram has privacy settings that allow you to approve those who can see your page, Kimberley has not used them.
‘I don’t see a need for tighter controls,’ she says. ‘There is nothing on there I am ashamed of or will regret posting. Anyone could take pictures of your kids in the playground. Schools put pictures of their pupils on public websites. This is no different.’
But Sarah Buglass, a cyber psychologist at Nottingham Trent University, warns there is marked difference between Instagram and Facebook.
‘Unless you set your privacy settings to high on Instagram it can be used as more of a public network, where you end up with lots of people you don’t know following your pictures,’ she says.
Often, though, this is part of its appeal: ‘In this culture of celebrity, people may want to put their pictures out there and be seen as interesting.’
While Kimberley insists she ‘ couldn’t care less’ how many followers or ‘likes’ she gets, she is in the minority. Many parents digitally enhance their offspring’s pictures, or take hundreds seeking a perfect shot.
A recent study found 80 per cent of people had witnessed parents putting desire for a good photo ahead of their child’s enjoyment of an event.
‘The worry is the need to appear you’re having a perfect family holiday or sibling moment,’ says Dr Papadopoulos. ‘ You might make your child feel there is a performance to live up to.’
There is evidence that the smallest children become as obsessed as their parents with social media and smartphones. A 2013 survey found 38 per cent of children under two had used a mobile device — up almost four-fold from two years previously.
Alarming new research by Internet Matters, a not-for-profit organisation advising parents how to keep their children safe online, also found 26 per cent of six-year-olds browse social media, up from 19 per cent in 2013.
And even though most are not uploading their own photos (Facebook and Instagram account holders must be at least 13), it can still have a significant effect on development.
‘If children are flicking through their parents’ Instagram, they may become familiar with poses such as the Instagram “pout” and this expression could become normalised,’ says Sarah Buglass.
‘They can also pick up on the concept of “likes”, and finding out their photos aren’t appreciated could potentially negatively affect self-confidence.’
Kimberley — whose husband also posts pictures on his Instagram account — says the girls have been aware they are being photographed since the age of two and know Instagram is a website where Mummy puts their pictures.
‘If they are wearing party clothes or doing something special, they’ll ask for a photo and then immediately want to inspect it. They’re always happy though — they don’t aspire for perfection,’ says Kimberley.
‘Sometimes it takes several attempts to get a nice shot, but I don’t use filters [special effects added to photos to improve how they look]. I don’t want my pictures to look fake.’
What about when the girls get older and their childhood snaps are still available online?
‘Social embarrassment can happen from six, when children become more aware of others’ reaction to them,’ Dr Papadopoulos warns. ‘As they get older, these pictures might make them feel laughed at, and in the worst circumstances lead to bullying.’
Buglass adds: ‘A parent posting an embarrassing picture of a child puts children at risk of ridicule online which can be played out in the playground as well, which in time could lead to lower levels of self-esteem.’
But Kimberley — like thousands of others — refuses to be deterred from sharing her family photo album online.
‘My children love having their lives documented like this. I don’t see any harm in it at all.’