Westminster wars

FIRST he was pictured at a music festival with a fag in his hand, then a porky David Cameron was snapped in his wetsuit surfing in Cornwall. And I thought smoking was supposed to help you stay slim!

MADAME Tussauds has unveiled its clay bust of Theresa May. Making its life- size dummies takes four months, which is about low long it took our PM to prove what a complete waxwork she is.

DAVID DAVIS’S former adviser, the Europhile James Chapman, says people like Boris Johnson should be in jail for promising that Brexit would mean an extra £350 million a week for the NHS.

If every politician who told porkies was banged up, they’d have to build a new prison twice the size of Pentonville.

ALEX SALMOND has a new career as a stand-up comic at the Edinburgh Fringe. Good move, as most of us have been laughing at him for years. At least he’s back where he belongs — on the fringes of politics.