4 questions to ask before you start an affair

1. WHY ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR? NINE times out of ten, attraction to someone else is about a need not being met in your marriage — the excitement of sex that’s different, having someone

who listens to you. Rather than throwing out everything you have built, try to fix what you have.

2. WHO ELSE WILL THIS AFFECT?

WRITE down the names of everyone whose lives would be affected if you had an affair — not just your husband and children, but your

potential lover’s children, your friendship groups, your family.

3. HOW WELL DO YOU REALLY KNOW HIM?

HOW often have you warned your children about ‘stranger danger’? During an affair you spend so little time with your lover that you cannot know enough about his background. Many dangerous men prey on vulnerable women. After I divorced, I had a police check done on my new partner.

4. SHOULD YOU END YOUR MARRIAGE FIRST?

A NEW relationship stands a better chance of success if you have ended the previous one first. If your marriage isn’t working, end it and start again without the baggage of infidelity.