The one lesson I’ve learned from life

Judy Murray

THE 57-year-old is mother to British tennis champions Jamie and Andy. She lives in London and earlier this year published her autobiography, Knowing The Score.

KNOW WHO TO TRUST AND IGNORE EVERYONE ELSE

WHEN andy made his breakthrough at Wimbledon in 2005, after beating radek stepanek in the second round, suddenly the spotlight was on us as a family.

all sorts of people crept out of the woodwork wanting a piece of the action, or looking to knock me down a peg or two. i wasn’t prepared either for that or for the level of nastiness and cutting comments.

and once you’ve been pigeonholed, it’s hard to throw that off, no matter how untrue it is. The ‘pushy mum’ label is unfair — i’m a supportive mum and i don’t think supportive dads would get the same treatment.

yes, i am competitive when i’m courtside, but i know that when my kids look up, they want to see me excited and passionate.

That said, getting slammed in public isn’t easy. People would say things like: ‘Why doesn’t she leave them alone? He’ll never win a grand slam if she’s still around.’ Others said andy was afraid of me. That was just ridiculous.

it’s tempting to respond to such accusations, but what good would it do? i had to show restraint and rise above it.

in the early days it was hard knowing who to trust or even who i could openly speak to because i worried about my words being twisted or misinterpreted. it was a steep learning curve for me.

But i soon realised that the people who’d known me for ever — especially my family, who loved me unconditionally — were my rocks. They were the ones who’d always be there and had my best interests at heart.

For example, my sister-in-law now manages all the things i’m not good at — my diary, my expenses, my logistics. she’s made a huge difference and i’m not sure i could live without her.

and, at the same time as leaning on those close to me, i’m much more careful these days — with what i say, how i say it and when i say it.

Whether this contributes to my reputation in the media as being cold, i don’t know.

But people who really know me know that i’m warm and funny and kind, and they’re the ones who count.