He’s an idiot with an apology for a brain. But he’s YOUR idiot, Coleen – so save him
From our inimitable advice columnist, some no-nonsense marriage guidance for Rooneys
BLOODY men, eh? At it again! You turn your back for ten minutes and your husband makes a colossal fool of himself, doing his best to wreck the precious family life you’ve worked so hard to keep stable.
Like the rest of the country, I was shocked to read about Wayne’s tenhour drunken binge, his sleazy flirtation with single-mother-on-theprowl Laura Simpson and then his arrest for driving her car three times over the limit (heading off for a game of Scrabble, no doubt) – and thought: ‘What on earth did he think he was doing?’
But he didn’t think, did he? That’s a bit too advanced for our Wayne. Like a million men before him, he goes out on the lash, drinks his way to recklessness and picks up a hot stranger – with no thought for his wife and family.
Didn’t it cross his befuddled apology for a brain that he just might be recognised, and that his long-suffering wife would find out?
If there’s one thing worse than a philandering bloke with an eye for a boob job – it’s a thoroughly stupid one. He’s not worth the price of a pair of Asda football boots.
Wayne’s loathsome behaviour has disgraced him and humiliated you – and you don’t deserve it. Just over a week ago, when it was announced that Rooney was retiring from his international career, I wrote a piece in this paper admiring you for representing ‘the best of a certain Liverpool spirit: ‘ Warmhearted, cheeky, strong, bright - and bloody brave’.
Born and bred in Liverpool myself, I loved the fact that you responded to the torrent of criticism about Wayne’s career by tweeting plucky loyalty: ‘ My husband has scored more goals for England than any other England player EVER!!!! So there.’
Well, it will take all your bravery to get through this, girl. No amount of money can compensate for such hurt and shame, can it? Not to mention the knowledge that the man you married (and stood by) is the very worst kind of role model for his three adoring sons.
I can imagine what your Mum and Dad must be thinking of Wayne right now.
But the only question that matters is whether you have it in you to forgive him. ‘Stand by your man’ is all very well – but loyalty can be stretched only so far before it snaps.
How could Wayne do this to you when you’re pregnant? How could he do this to you
at all? We can be sure he’s asked himself that many times since you flew home from Majorca to berate him – because the worse hangover in the world must be nothing compared with knowing he has made the people who love him utterly sick.
You rang Laura Simpson to get her version of events – a private conversation she has already spilled to a newspaper. Apparently you were ‘polite’ and when she apologised for going off with your husband, you said: ‘You have nothing to say sorry for.’
It was dignified of you. Making a call like that can help you feel you’re taking back some control. Good for you.
You come out of that exchange with your dignity intact, whereas an unrepentant Laura Simpson says she would have gone to bed with Wayne. She should be sorry for that.
There are too many predatory women happy to get their mitts on other people’s husbands. My best friend lives in Alderley Edge, so I’ve been to those upmarket joints, Piccolino’s and the Bubble Room, where Wayne began his binge that night. You get a sense of the clientele – women with fake hair, breasts, eyelashes and nails, trowelled- on slap and skyscraper heels whose ambition is to hook a footballer.
You were never like that, Coleen. One day my friend was in the park in Alderley Edge when a sweet little boy came up to ask politely if he could stroke her dog.
She said yes, praising him for asking first. Looking up, she saw the lad’s mother with two other well-dressed little boys. It was you – and you were so pleased when my friend complimented you on your children. My friend described you as an ordinary mum out with her kids.
What a contrast to Wayne. Anybody who understands human behaviour (and as this paper’s advice columnist, I have ten years’ worth of problem letters) can see that Wayne is out of control.
His managers have been worried about his boozing and his smoking for years and as for the floosies… well, there’s a pattern in this behaviour. He’ll do it again – unless something changes.
The question for every wronged wife is this: Will you be the one to bring about change or will you throw the marriage on the scrapheap? Oh, Coleen, a lot of women will be telling you to kick Wayne out, but that would be to let this stupid behaviour ruin everything you’ve built up. Why should it?
If you decide to give Wayne one last chance, it must be on your terms. Tell him he has just one choice right now: A miserable future without you and the kids – or life with the family he loves. If he wants to go on being a husband and father, he has to change.
I’d rethink those holidays without him and lay down the law about the booze. I’d set my husband on the wagon and make sure I’m driving it ALL the time.
Why should you bother? For the sake of the kids, yes. But for Wayne’s sake too – because he’s not a wicked man. Your husband may be a weak idiot – but he’s your very own idiot and deserves to be saved. So please be stronger than ever – and fight this. Don’t collude in destruction – because there’s too much of it around. Be better than the rest – and that way help him to become better too. You can do it.