The Mums and Grans at war over what to feed their little darlings
MY MYDAUGHTER DAUGHTER GIVES HER BOY FAR TOO MANY TREATS
THEY call it the battle of the matriarchs — one that’s been tested to the limit over the summer holidays when working mums have turned to their own mothers for help with childcare.
But just what has your little darling been eating when Granny’s in charge? Are they happily wolfing down their five a day? Or being indulged in a stream of E-numbers and sugary treats? And in an age when children’s nutrition is subject to greater scrutiny than ever before, who has the right approach?
Here, three working mothers of young children go head to head with their own mums to argue who really does know best when it comes to meal times . . .
luCY hAMPER, 37, is a property developer and part-time model. She is single and lives in london with her son, Carter, nine. her mother is Penny hamper, 62, a receptionist, who is divorced and lives in hertfordshire.
LUCY SAYS:
PILED high with crisps, chocolate and sweets for my son, Carter, the tuck cupboard in my kitchen goes against everything my mum believes in.
I can still hear her gasp of horror when she first looked inside the cupboard and learned it was all for Carter.
Although I’ve always been conscious of feeding my son nutritious, healthy food with plenty of vegetables, pasta and lean meat, it’s not realistic to be as strict about treats as Mum was when I was a child.
She’s always been into clean eating and when my sister and I were kids we weren’t allowed red meat, anything cooked with oils or salt and certainly no ‘tuck’.
There weren’t any snacks and family meals were usually a piece of fish with boiled potatoes and two vegetables, plus an apple or tangerine for pudding.
Unsurprisingly, going to my paternal grandma’s house for tea, where there were hearty stews and casseroles on offer, left Mum pulling a disapproving face and my sister and me in heaven.
Ultimately, Mum’s strict regime has stood me in good stead because I naturally make healthy food choices. But when I had Carter, I was adamant I’d have a more relaxed attitude to his diet.
I wanted him to enjoy healthy food, but also for him to know that, as long as he eats his meals, he can enjoy treats in moderation.
Because Carter is sporty and plays rugby, when he gets home from school he’s always ravenous. I’ll give him carrots and hummus as a snack, but if he wants a packet of crisps, he can have one.
Where’s the harm in that? I’m teaching him a healthy attitude to food. It’s not something to obsess over or turn into an enemy. I’d love to see Mum, just once, tucking into something with merry abandon. She even tuts when she sees me using butter in sandwiches, or oil to brown some onions.
Carter never complains when he eats at Mum’s, but dives straight into the tuck cupboard as soon as he gets home, which tells me everything.
PENNY SAYS:
I WAS a bit of a hippy chick in my youth and wouldn’t allow anything unhealthy in the house. I still don’t.
Even when Lucy had friends round I would offer them water — or barley water at the most — to drink instead of fizzy pop, which they all found very odd.
My mother-in-law used to accuse me of not feeding Lucy and her sister enough, but I ignored her because it was nonsense.
Although I’m pleased Carter is active and isn’t a greedy boy, and also that Lucy does cook healthy, balanced meals for him, I despair of that tuck cupboard.
Mostly I worry about the damage it will do to his teeth. I’ve spent a fortune having mine repaired, a legacy of being rewarded with sweets as a child.
When Lucy and her sister were little, instead of sweets I’d treat them with a trip to the park. Now, as Grandma Penny, I’d rather play football or read a book with Carter as a reward when he’s been good.
He never complains when I feed him salmon with new potatoes and broccoli. However, I have had to concede that kids like sweet stuff, and if he whinges enough for a treat, I’ll sometimes give in and allow him one biscuit or a tiny bit of chocolate. lAuRA ADAMS, 33, is a sales executive who lives in orpington, kent, with her husband and their two-year-old daughter, Eadie. her mother is Sue Williams, 57, who works for a motor company, is single and also lives in orpington.
LAURA SAYS:
MUM’S nonchalent approach to Eadie’s food has caused tension over the past two years. I thought she’d support my desire to raise her on a healthy, balanced diet with occasional treats. But almost from the moment I weaned her, Mum has been spoiling Eadie with naughty treats, giving her biscuits from the age of ten months.
Now, the moment Eadie sets eyes on Granny, she makes a beeline for her handbag, knowing that she’ll find something sweet inside.
When Mum has her to sleep over, I’ll pack a tub of pasta and vegetables for Eadie’s tea and give strict instructions that she must only drink water, no