Confessional

What the healthstore worker thinks about you

WHAT surprises me about this job is how ignorant many people are about basic health. They’ll buy anything if it comes in packaging that looks eco-friendly, even if it’s a power bar containing ten spoonfuls of sugar.

One woman in her 40s comes into this store every other day. She’s very overweight and spends a fortune on ‘natural’ sweets and biscuits. I feel like telling her not to waste her money.

Then there are the homeopathy nuts. They engage me in long conversations about what each preparation will do for their blocked nose or wobbly stomach. I think it’s nonsense, so I just nod along. I always say: ‘Go to your GP to be on the safe side.’ Quite a few middle-aged men start going to the gym and get obsessed. They’re always in here buying tubs of protein powder and giving me a detailed account of their workout.

One current health trend is veganism. A teenage girl had her fiftysomething dad spending a fortune on tofu for her, but she was still ranting at him about the bacon sandwich he’d eaten.

My favourite customers are the ones who actually take advice. It’s the knowit-all millennials who think I should be impressed they drink spirulina smoothies for breakfast that make me want to run for the hills.