Is it just ME?

Or does everyone get the back-toschool blues?

THE apricots are over, the blackberries are turning, the first acorns are on the paths. There is a hint in the air of leaves, rain and blackboard chalk. September is here.

A last-minute scramble for uniforms, reading logs and maths sheets. The start of the autumn term: school runs, packed lunches, sports kit, homework and oh, how the heart sinks.

Do you ever grow out of back-to-school blues?

Back In The Jug Agane, the great fictional schoolboy Nigel Molesworth called the fourth of his books about schooldays at St Custard’s. That’s how I feel about September: back in the jug, back behind bars.

In Ryman stationery shop last week I queued behind a boy buying a Helix Oxford Maths Set in an oblong tin. The rattle as he put it down on the counter made me feel ill. I remembered that rattle and how it signalled the start of a maths lesson and the tortures of working out the area of a rhombus. There must be some whose schooldays really were the best days of their lives, who feel a fillip of happiness every September. For the rest of us, there is just sadness at lost summer freedoms.

I haven’t been ‘back to school’ for years, but all it takes is a single fallen leaf and I get the jitters. What have I done with my lacrosse stick? Have I forgotten my Latin? And the big question: will I make any friends?

It must be all the more acute when you have children of your own. Keeping jolly, chivvying them along, telling them what fun they’ll have, what pals for life.

Those brave mothers are at the gates. For the rest of us, there’s still the nagging, niggling fear of a surprise geography test...

All it takes is a single falling leaf and I get the jitters. Have I forgotten my Latin?