Life-affirming bond that made these women bare their souls – and bodies
ONE by one, seven women step out of a changing room and into a photo studio, wearing nothing more than a dressing gown over a set of M&S undies.
They gather in an atmosphere of nervous excitement. Make-up artists expertly dab on powder and fuss over their hair, while they turn to each other and ask: ‘Are we really going to do this?’ What will the neighbours have to say about it all, someone wonders aloud. Another questions whether their children’s teachers will be able to look them in the eye at the next parents’ evening.
But as they are called onto set, the firm conclusion is that they have each faced far greater challenges than standing in front of a camera in their bras and knickers. With that in mind, the dressing gowns are cheerfully discarded.
What unites these perfectly ordinary women, who possess extraordinary mettle, is that they have all been deeply affected by breast cancer.
Their stories span a broad spectrum of experiences when it comes to living with the disease.
This week, pictures of them wearing little more than their underwear and a smile will appear in Marks & Spencer stores
Knowing what must be done does away with fear ROSA PARKS, CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVIST
across the country. Modelling items from the pink bras range, they are the faces and bodies of the company’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month campaign for 2017.
Breast cancer affects one in eight women in the UK, but genetic testing is only offered to women with a strong family history of the disease.
M&S has partnered with Breast Cancer Now to raise £13 million to fund the charity’s scientific research to better understand the risk factors associated with breast cancer. It’s hoped that this initiative will prevent 9,000 cases a year by 2025.
Here, the women explain why they decided to strip off for a good cause.
MY HUSBAND WILL BE SPEECHLESS
LesLey stephen, 51, gave up her job as a communications consultant three years ago after being diagnosed with incurable stage 4 breast cancer. she lives with her husband, Doug, 46, a hR director, their three sons and a daughter, in edinburgh. THESE pictures are my great legacy to my family and everyone I love. I don’t know how much longer we have together, but this is how I want them to remember me: looking my best, full of life and happiness, despite where breast cancer has put me.
It’s a well-worn cliche that we should all try and live in the moment. But living as I do, between four-monthly scans that always threaten to tell me my cancer has spread even further, has forced me to do just that.
And in a strange way, this means I’m happier now than before my diagnosis, because every day feels like the most precious gift. This new mindset is what gave me the strength to do this.
When I first talked to my husband Doug about whether I should get involved in the campaign, I felt very unsure about it all. I’m not the kind of person to put myself out there.
But then he asked me: ‘ What’s the worst that could happen?’, before pointing out that nothing is more terrible than having to face up to your own mortality, and I knew I wanted to go ahead.
I’m so glad I did. The treatment that has kept me alive has changed the way I look — I’ve lost my hair twice and the steroids I had to take made me gain weight.
To see myself looking so vibrant again makes me feel incredibly proud of my resilience — I feel attractive; I’m very much alive.
When Doug sees these pictures I’m certain he’ll be speechless. I hope that they go on to be a source of pride, and ultimately comfort, for him and our children long into the future.
I’M VIBRANT, HAPPY AND FULL OF LIFE
heLen peeDeLL, 52, was diagnosed with grade 3 intraductal breast cancer last september after finding a lump in her breast during a routine self-examination. she and her husband, simon, 40, run a flooring and furniture business. they live near Abingdon in Oxfordshire with their sons Luke, 24, and Alfie, 13. FOR my first family day out after I lost my hair to chemotherapy I wore a wig to hide my baldness.
It was itchy and incredibly uncomfortable, yet when my 13-year- old son, Alfie, saw me struggling and urged me to nip to the ladies to take it off, I refused.
‘I’m too embarrassed,’ I told him. ‘People will stare.’
Alfie looked at me, aghast. Before firmly stating: ‘I don’t care who stares. You’re still beautiful.’
It was a defining moment and I left those toilets with my head uncovered. Alfie was so proud and I know all my family will be too when they see these pictures of me, modelling in my M&S undies, on giant posters.
In the photos you can clearly see I no longer have any bust. My shape has changed dramatically — following a double mastectomy I’ve gone from a 34F to nothing. You can also see I’m vibrant, happy and full of life.
Eventually, I’ll be able to have reconstructive surgery, but I’m not sure I’ll ever actually go ahead with that — I feel so incredibly positive about my body as it is.
It hasn’t just survived cancer, it’s come through gruelling treatment that was always going to leave its mark. Despite looking different now, whether dressed or in my underwear, I still feel like the woman I always was.
I hope my pictures will speak to the women going through treatment who wonder if they’ll ever be beautiful again. I hope they will say to them ‘you already are’, just as my son did to me when I was at such a low point myself.
I DON’T NEED A BUST TO FEEL WOMANLY
heAtheR shekeDe, 42, is a children’s nursing lecturer. she was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer in 2007, and underwent aggressive surgery, chemo and radiotherapy. ten years on she’s completely clear of cancer. she lives in Croydon with her 14-year-old son. CANCER took away more than my breast — it stole a year of my life, much of which I spent reeling at the thought I might not get to watch my little boy, then four, grow up.
It quickly went from me finding what the doctor thought was a small cyst, to being told I had stage 3 breast cancer at the age of 32. I felt my future had been stolen from me.
The treatment was brutal. I had a full mastectomy, radiotherapy, chemotherapy and then long-term drug treatment. My poor body became so battered, cut and bruised. There were many times when I felt as though it belonged to the doctors and not me.
But as the months passed, and it began to look as though the aggressive treatment I received was working, I felt overwhelming gratitude and relief.
I started to reclaim my body as my own again.
That was ten years ago, and I’m still strong and well.
I’ve been left with a great sense that life is what you make of it. That’s one of the reasons behind these pictures — I wanted to show other women that breast cancer might take a great deal from you, but eventually it is possible to leave it in the past.
Meanwhile, I could have had a new breast reconstructed, but I decided against it. I don’t need a bust to feel like a woman.
Anyway, I have so many other body parts to be proud of — for example, a beautiful smile and gorgeous eyes.
I focus on enjoying what’s good about my body rather than dwelling on what I lost, and I hope that shines through in my pictures.
I know it will mean the world to my family — especially my mum — to see me in such a positive light. They helped me through the very worst of times and this is a way of showing them everything really is OK again.
THE PICTURES SHOW HOW FAR I’VE COME
kAtie hughes, 33, was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, and has had surgery and radiotherapy. she is a legal pA and lives with her partner, Johnny giles, 35, a businessman, in surrey. WHEN you’re diagnosed with breast cancer, people talk about how brave you are and what a fighter you must be as you go through your treatment.
But actually, the only truly courageous thing I’ve done since my diagnosis is this — posing for pictures in my underwear that will be seen by those closest to me as well as complete strangers.
There have been times during the past two years when I’ve felt so utterly crushed and afraid that I’ve found myself in some very dark places.
Throughout my treatment, bravery didn’t enter into it. There was this huge medical team fighting my corner, working towards me getting better. I was told where I needed to be and they did the rest.
But when it came to posing for
these pictures, I had a choice. To make the one that I did, I had to first conquer the negative feelings I felt towards my body to be able to take my clothes off in the first place. The impact of being told I had breast cancer was two-fold: there was the wretched sense of fear that this was it, I was going to die; and also the physicality of extensive surgery, radiotherapy and now drug therapy.
reconstructive surgery at the same time as my mastectomy meant my body didn’t appear that much different. But knowing what had happened to it really knocked my confidence. repeatedly reminding myself that I’m healthy again, with life still very much ahead of me, has helped me overcome all that negativity.
These pictures, of which I’m so proud, show me just how far I’ve come. During the shoot I felt incredibly strong and brave.
IT’S AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO MUM
LauRa otRoFaNowEi, 32, is a teacher. Her mother, Debbie East, 54, a midwife, was diagnosed with primary breast cancer in 2016. Laura is married to James, 32, a banking regulator. they live with sons Ethan, nine, Cameron, seven, and Reuben, two, in Essex. PoSINg for these pictures, stripped down to simply being a woman stood in nothing more than my underwear, is my way of sending a very important message to my mum. She was diagnosed with breast cancer after finding a lump last year and is still receiving treatment.
My picture says: ‘here I am, Mum — a woman, just like you, stripped bare, and I promise I’m going to stand by you no matter what.’
rather than worrying about herself, my mum’s first thoughts when she was diagnosed was the impact it would have on her adult children — my sister, two brothers and me. As my sister and I wept in her arms, Mum simply couldn’t see past her role as our mother. She kept saying how worried she was about us.
That broke my heart, making me realise that if I was to help her through this I needed to be more than her daughter. We had to connect woman to woman — she needed me, more than anything, to be her friend.
It was hard persuading Mum that she could share her darkest thoughts and fears, without worrying about how that might make me feel. Every time she opened up I felt such relief.
I felt so proud the day we did the photo-shoot. I’ve experienced so many hang-ups about my own body — never feeling it was quite good enough — and yet my mum’s bravery had inspired me to allow complete strangers to now look at it.
But among those other women, who’ve had their own difficult experiences with cancer, being photographed in my underwear suddenly felt like the most natural thing in the world. In fact, as the camera clicked I felt somehow superhuman, and incredibly proud of not just my body, but also of theirs and my mum’s.
When I look at the pictures I know that feeling will be recaptured in an instant. I hope every woman who sees them will feel the same way.
MY BODY HAS COME BACK FIGHTING
Emi Lou Howe, 38, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012, and is a holistic therapist. She lives in Cheshire with her fiance, their seven-year-old daughter and nine-year-old son. ThErE were times during my treatment when I wondered if I would ever find peace with this body of mine again. With its scars and missing parts it no longer felt as though it even belonged to me.
But over time, fear and sadness at what cancer was taking from me was replaced with gratitude for what was still left.
I kept a photo diary documenting the physical changes as they took place, which somehow helped me to regain a sense of ownership over my body.
Even so, if someone had told me back then I would go on to enthusiastically model in a set of M&S undies, I’d have been staggered.
And yet, here I am, five years to the very day my breast was removed due to cancer, on posters in my underwear. My treatment is behind me but I feel so proud to be part of a campaign that symbolises that it is possible to feel good about yourself and your body, no matter what it has endured.
Breast cancer doesn’t just send you on a medical journey; it’s a highly emotional one, too. And so I hope it isn’t just my family and friends who feel proud of me when they see these posters.
My greatest wish is that it instills the same sense in women who’ve never met me; women at the start of their own breast cancer journey who see, through my pictures, that it really is possible to like your body again and to let go of the horrible feeling it has somehow let you down.
Mine has been through hell, and yet it’s come back fighting — it deserves my respect. These pictures stand as testament to that.
I FELT LIBERATED FROM SELF-DOUBT
HayLEy RoCk, 40, is head of buying for a clothing company. She was diagnosed with primary breast cancer in January and has just finished active treatment. She lives in Cheshire with her husband, Fran, 44, an electrical engineer, and their daughters Emmy, nine, and ava, 11. LAST week I had my final radiotherapy session. With my active treatment behind me, this is where the real mental fight starts — when I put the cancer card away and get on with my life.
In that sense, the launch of this campaign couldn’t have come at a better time.
These pictures represent a new stage in my life; one that sees me proud and happy with the woman I am now, who might have changed physically but still feels feminine and attractive.
I had so many plans for my 40th year, including family parties and amazing holidays that I’d look back on for ever.
Instead, after finding a lump in January and being convinced it was just a cyst, I quickly found myself battling with cancer.
All those plans had to be put on hold.
I’ve coped by drowning out the inner voice that kept telling me I couldn’t beat cancer, with one much louder that kept insisting I most certainly could.
What’s more, I’ve still managed to achieve something amazing this year, by becoming an underwear model for M&S. That alone feels like an incredible achievement. Not least because this time last year I was toned and svelte, and would have been much more body confident about stripping off in front of strangers.
Sheer exhaustion kept me out of the gym until very recently, and the drugs I’ve had to take made me gain weight.
And yet, when I stood alongside those other ladies, wearing just my underwear, I felt liberated from all my body insecurities.
I felt strong and womanly. No attempt was made to cover up the PICC line on my arm — the catheter that fed my chemotherapy drugs directly into a vein. I was glad, because it added to the honesty of my pictures.
My husband has been a pillar of strength throughout all of this, and I can’t wait to see his face when he looks at my picture.
he’s not normally the emotional type, but I think he’ll shed a tear.
I also know he’ll be incredibly proud of me, as will our daughters, to whom I hope I’ve proved by example that there’s great beauty in being happy and confident in your own skin.
FoR the whole of october, m&S will donate 20 per cent of sales of 27 pink bras from its lingerie range to Breast Cancer Now.