Yuk! The Apprentices sell a burger that looks like a bloated tortoise

BUSINESSES might be facing uncertainty, but that’s not going to put off the 18 sharp-elbowed contestants in the latest series of The Apprentice (BBC1).

It’s been six years since the format was changed, after producers realised that competing for a job as a lackey to Lord Sugar wasn’t really cutting it. Now the lucky winner gets a £250,000 investment in their own start-up company with Sugar as a 50 per cent shareholder.

Last night was our first introduction to the new wannabes, some of whom clearly thought they were taking part in Blind Date.

‘ I am my own brand — but beware, there’s a sting in my tail,’ said Joanna. ‘In business I’m a bulldog. Mess with me and I do have lockjaw (sic),’ said Michaela.

After being split into male and female groups, the contestants had to come up with names for their teams — always one of the most entertaining aspects of The Apprentice.

‘Warriors,’ suggested one of the boys. ‘Trojans,’ said another. In the end they settled on ‘ Vitality,’ although ‘ Incompetent’ would have been more apt. The girls, thankfully, dismissed ‘Victorious Secrets’ and opted for the marginally better ‘Graphene’ since it’s a material tougher than steel.

Under the gaze of Lord Sugar’s henchmen Karren ‘eyes in the back of my head’ Brady and Claude ‘I’ll be watching you’ Littner, they were handed their first task.

The teams had to manufacture and sell burgers both to the public and trade. Team Graphene did reasonably well, even if Lord Sugar did think their cheeseburger looked like a ‘ constipated tortoise,’ and made a profit. But Vitality’s efforts were a disaster and team leader Danny was the first to get sacked.

The one-liners Lord Sugar insists are unscripted were more withering than ever. And, glossing over the question of why candidates who claim to be already earning £175,000 salaries need Lord Sugar’s investment, it was still marvellous to have The Apprentice back.

As one show started another ended, with the last in the celebrity ancestry series of Who Do You Think

You Are? (BBC1) — and it went out in style thanks to comedienne Ruby Wax.

Having suffered with her own mental health, Ruby wanted to know if there was anything in her past that could have contributed to her illness. She knew her parents had fled Austria from the Nazis but, mostly, they had refused to talk about their experience.

Ruby discovered her Jewish father had been imprisoned and tortured during his two-month incarceration. He was granted freedom on condition he left Austria for good, which he did — fleeing to Chicago.

Ruby’s mother Berta followed weeks later, but not before witnessing the infamous

or the Night of Broken Glass, where Jews were attacked and had their homes and businesses destroyed — an incident that may well have explained Berta’s unstable personality in later life.

Archives revealed that Berta’s aunt and uncle were unsuccessful in fleeing and, penniless and half starving, were shipped to the Czech ghetto town of Theresienstadt where they perished.

Ruby’s belief that there must be a genetic link to her own history of illness proved to be the case. Her great-aunt Olga spent her entire adult life in an institution where she would have experienced brutal attempts at cures for her condition documented as ‘agitation.’

Uncomfortable and upsetting though it was, the episode was compelling and proved that Who Do You Think You Are? is still capable of uncovering some fascinating stories.