No, I’m not cold in hot pants

Daily Mail - - Life -

PoPPy Toyne is 14 and lives with par­ents Hay­ley, 42, a free­lance mar­ket­ing con­sul­tant and Andy, 50, a con­tract man­ager for a con­struc­tion com­pany in Branston, Lin­colnshire. She has a sis­ter Scar­lett, nine.


1 WHY can’t you knock when you come into my bed­room? When I com­plain I could have been un­dress­ing, you say you’ve seen it all be­fore. But that was when you were chang­ing my nappy! 2 WHY do you con­sider it ap­pro­pri­ate to post baby pho­to­graphs of me in the bath on Face­book and In­sta­gram, and then tag me in them, which means all my friends can see them, too? That is just so em­bar­rass­ing. 3 I WAS fum­ing to dis­cover re­cently that you ac­tu­ally stalk me on so­cial me­dia and have set­tings on your phone so that if I post any­thing on Twit­ter, Face­book or In­sta­gram you get an alert. I know I’m only 14, but what about trust? 4 I’VE caught on to your trick of shout­ing up­stairs to tell me tea is ready, then I come down to dis­cover it won’t be out of the oven for ten min­utes, and you just want me to set the ta­ble while I’m wait­ing. 5 MY SIS­TER will tease me about lik­ing a boy and then you join in, like you’re a big kid. You think it’s funny; it’s not. 6 WHEN I wear short skirts I get a lec­ture about pulling them down be­fore I leave the house, even though all my friends dress that way. And, no, I won’t be cold in my hot pants and crop top. 7 WHY do you in­sist I can only take the train into Not­ting­ham, which is only 40 miles away, if a friend’s par­ent is go­ing too, even though my mates are al­lowed un­ac­com­pa­nied? 8 WE BOTH wear size five shoes, but that doesn’t mean you can wear my train­ers. What if my friends saw you? 9 WHY do you give me such a hard time when I don’t an­swer my phone on the first ring? I feel like I am tagged. 10 IT MAKES me so cross when I ask you to ex­plain why you’re telling me to do some­thing, and the an­swer is: ‘Be­cause I said so.’


NO SUR­PRISES there. I know she’s strain­ing at the leash, and wants her in­de­pen­dence, but she’s only 14. I wouldn’t be do­ing my job if I didn’t keep an eye on her.

Her com­ments about clothes made me laugh. What­ever the weather, she’ll try sneak­ing out the door in what is es­sen­tially a 1950s bikini!

Poppy gets £40 a month for walk­ing the dog, emp­ty­ing the dish­washer and tidy­ing her bed­room — none of which she ever ac­tu­ally does.


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