The one lesson I’ve learned from life
BESTSEllINg novelist Penny Vincenzi, 78, has written 15 bestsellers, which have sold more than 7 million copies worldwide. Widowed, she has four daughters and divides her time between london and gower in South Wales.
What you need most in later life is courage
ThaT guff about old age bringing wisdom certainly doesn’t apply to me. I can still be seriously silly, talk more than I should (usually after drinking too much); take too much on; buy stuff I don’t need; make wild promises (usually to be in two places at once); weep over unintended slights and fall asleep in front of the TV.
The thing is, I don’t feel old much of the time. I am notionally only about 45.
Often I wake up feeling great, contemplating the hectic day ahead, and then my feet hit the floor and the aches and pains set in. I catch sight of myself in the bathroom mirror and all I want to do is get back into bed and stay there.
What you need when you’re not as young as you used to be is courage. Cour- age to deal with those aches and pains, the loss of lifelong friends and partners — and the fear of being a burden.
I’m fortunate to still have a career and a large, loving family, and generally I find myself too busy rather than the reverse. I have learnt to like the freedom of living alone. But there are still dark days or nights when I feel vulnerable.
I’ve learned to deal with it with a new mantra: Don’t Look Down.
If you do look down on those days, if you think about what might go wrong, what might befall you health-wise or emotion-wise, you’ve had it. So just get on with it. It’s the only thing to do unless you’re going to shut the front door and never go out again.
Because those fears lurk, and with good reason. They’re a natural fallout of getting older. and the only thing you can do is ignore them — or try to.
I have a problem with my spine, which means I can’t stand up for long, or I just fall over. Undignified. Scary.
For a while, I was too anxious to go to the theatre or out to dinner. But then I told myself: ‘I’ll be with friends. They would — and do — catch me, find me a chair, something to hold onto.’ and life is fun again.
Bette Davis said that old age was not for sissies. Too right — and who wants to be a sissy? A QUESTION Of Trust by Penny Vincenzi (Headline, £20) is out now.