Today’spoem

No, I don’t believe in magic, In fairy tales or myths, And I always thought that those who do Are stupid idiots! But the other day I was vacuuming — You know, the way you do, Imagining I was somewhere else When my household chores were through. Then my vacuum gave a buzzing sound And smoke puffed out and rose And there before me was a tiny gnome Straightening his clothes! He said his name was Henry Then he pointed out with pride That his name was there on the cleaning machine Written on the side. He had an Irish accent And a cheeky little grin, As I stood there in amazement Staring down at him. ‘You let me out and set me free ‘So I’ll grant to you one wish,’ He said in his little cheery drawl And we sealed the deal with a kiss. But what, oh what, should I wish for? I wanted everything, From helping out my family To a little bit of bling. It was then he started singing As loud as loud can be With not a single note in tune — He sounded like a sick banshee! Now, I love all things Irish; I hail from that very isle, But I have to tell you here and now His singing was simply vile. I started off politely: ‘Henry, Would you kindly stop?’ But then he sang right up the scales Until he reached the top. So I threatened to unplug Henry And shouted my final bid, Saying: ‘I wish that you would go away,’ And go away he did!