Blind date SPECIAL CHALLENGE
I’m old, divorced, pot-bellied, bald and apparently not good enough for modern women. Please find me a date!
WE RECENTLY posed the question that plagues so many single women: where have all the good men gone?
In response, letters flooded in from men, one of whom was a despairing Jim Johnston, who wrote: ‘It isn’t often that I read any paper beyond the sports pages, but having separated from my wife of 28 years a year ago, your “Where Have All The Good Men Gone?” article caught my eye.
‘The thought of dating terrifies me — and, after reading this, quite frankly I give up.
‘It would appear that I am old, boring, potbellied and want a woman to bring my pipe and slippers while I sleep in my armchair. I
do have a pot belly — the result of a lot of good living — but I am fit enough to really enjoy life.
‘I am also bald: one more fault to turn these open-minded women off. I work probably 60 hours a week, I live on my own, and somehow — I have no idea how — I survive!
‘So, give the girls my regards, because despite being as independent as they are, looking after myself and enjoying life enormously, I am not good enough for any of them.’ He signed off as ‘Jim Johnston: fat, bald and 55 ¾’.
But we persuaded Jim to give dating a chance — and this week, sent him and Katherine McNamara to the Cantina del Ponte restaurant in London Bridge.
Jim, now 56, runs his own training business and lives in Tring, Hertfordshire, while 49-year-old Katherine is a PA and marriage registrar from Essex.
Jim, 56, says:
MY WIFE left me a year ago after 28 years together. It was really hard, but I’m moving on now, although I have no idea where to start dating or how to do it.
My last date was 30 years ago, and I have no clue what the rules are. Internet dating just terrifies me, and I make up lots of excuses so I don’t have to try. I haven’t even looked because I can’t bring myself to. I like seeing people and talking to them.
But I am also scared of being alone. I have no one to ask about my day, go for a coffee with, shout at the TV with, or just be tender with. I like a glass of wine, preferably a nice Rioja, but drinking one on your own feels a bit daft.
So, although dating is my biggest fear, I decided fears are there to be overcome and agreed to a blind date.
I got there early, as I thought it’s not nice for a lady to have to sit alone in a restaurant. When Katherine walked in, I thought she looked great and seemed happy to be there.
We just started chatting — and never stopped. We had a laugh about how we ended up on this date, with me admitting that I had written in in a strop, while she said her friend had recommended she do it.
AND then we talked about the usual — family, kids, dogs and work. It was a discovery conversation, finding out about our attitudes and background, although it never felt like an interrogation.
Afterwards, we went for a walk over Tower Bridge. The thing I feared most was not being able to have a conversation, so it was great to be so relaxed.
Although we had a lot of differences, there was enough in common to keep it going.
I have ridden motorcycles all my life, and I play golf as much as I can and have a lot of fun doing it. Other than that and work, though, I don’t go anywhere I might meet ladies.
I realise now that the article got me cross as it reinforced all my insecurities: too old, too fat, not good enough for the ‘modern’ woman.
The date was a very positive experience and a big confidence boost. It has broken the ice and made me think: ‘I can do this.’
I really enjoyed Katherine’s company and the conversation, and she couldn’t have been more welcoming and warm. We agreed it was a lovely evening and it just seemed natural to suggest we meet up again.
We had a lovely time on our second date. I’m not sure yet if there’ll be a big romance, as distance and my work schedule are going to be the biggest barriers, but I know I want
to see her more. unfortunately, my work is taking me away again, but hopefully, Katherine understands — although maybe it’s time I slow down a bit, too.
LIKED? Her personality, looks and, enthusiasm — she has a very positive outlook on life.
REGRETS? None. COFFEE OR CAB? Coffee. VERDICT: 10/10
Katherine, 49, says:
IT’S been a year since I’ve been on a date, so I tried to keep an open mind about who I might meet.
My first impression was that Jim wasn’t my ‘usual type’ — whatever that is.
But then we started chatting, and that’s how it carried on for the rest of the evening. Jim came across as very genuine and I felt really comfortable in his company.
We had a laugh about his angry letter to the paper — and it made me realise that perhaps I am too quick to stereotype people sometimes — while I admitted that I only wrote in because a friend made me.
After dinner, we took a walk over Tower Bridge and into St Katharine docks, which is a lovely part of london when it’s all lit up at night.
We spoke about travelling — Jim has a Harley- davidson motorbike, which he has toured about with.
I love Europe and Jim said one day, it might be nice to tour in a campervan — I’m up for that! I think the date went well. We certainly had lots to talk about. As we walked to the station together past the Tower of london, we swapped numbers and agreed to meet up the following week. We’ve since met for lunch and, again, we had an easy conversation. I find his openness, confidence and sincerity really attractive, as they’re the qualities I would look for in a man. I hope he found the same reflected back. I am also overweight, so a man who’s slightly overweight is OK for me — we can get active together. We’ve a fair amount in common. I work full-time as a PA and some weekends as a registrar of marriages, so my spare time is limited. Jim has an interesting job that includes lots of travelling and doesn’t leave him much personal time, either.
And we both have dogs — my 17- month- old American bulldog-Staffy cross is my first ever dog, and he keeps me rather busy!
I was with my partner for 14 years, but we have been separated for 15 years, and our two children are now in their early 20s. I’ve seen four people since then, but can’t seem to get past the six-month mark!
I would love to meet someone who is genuinely honest and open — someone generous, thoughtful and home-loving, but also a go-getter.
The initial date with Jim and our lunch have been such positive experiences, so who knows what lies ahead . . .
LIKED? He is confident, but unassuming, active with lots of interests in life, and has strong family bonds.
REGRETS? None. COFFEE OR CAB? Coffee. VERDICT: 9/10