An odyssey that’s out of this world

It’s hell here on Earth, As we can all see, So surely there’s somewhere It’s better to be. Mars can be chilly, And mountainous, too; Mercury’s boiling, And there isn’t a loo. Jupiter’s hefty, With plenty of room, But lacking in nightlife, And frozen in gloom. Ceres has water, Which is a rare treat, But the shops are all shut, So there’s nothing to eat. Venus sounds brilliant, If you want to be flat; Its air is so heavy, You’d soon go ker-splat! Saturn’s so lovely At this time of year, But the rings make you dizzy, And there’s no decent beer. Neptune could be fine; The solution to this — If poisonous gases You don’t want to miss! Pluto’s minute, and Incredibly cold, And when you arrive, You find you’re too old. Then there’s the Moon, So silver and small, But hardly the place For a game of football. We mustn’t give up though, Our quest without fight — We could go to the Sun, Which is well in our sight. You think it’s too fiery, Too hot and too bright? Well don’t fret about that — We can just go at night! Dick Dixon, Shoreham-by-Sea, W. Sussex.

...andLimerick

Winnie the Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore Are characters that children adore, But some silly ass Thinks they’re twee — middle class Tigger will give him what for! Peter Thomas, Widnes.