WHY THEY JUST CAN’T LIE (OR RESIST PINCHING A CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY)

ONE of the joys of the Secret Life series is watching the rich, complex and often surprising interactions between the children involved. This time, the series has an accompanying book, in which psychologists Teresa Watkins and Professor Paul Howard-Jones examine the extraordinary developments in our children’s growing brains. Here are some of the most fascinating revelations . . .

FOUR is a pivotal age — many of the social skills we need for adult life are laid down around this time.

WE’RE born with a brain that automatically ‘reads’ social signals — which primes us to attend to what psychologists call ‘the world of others’. These social exchanges help to shape our developing brain, encouraging an impressive range of social skills to emerge by the age of four — including the language and empathy we need to make friends.

THERE are sex differences in how the brain develops, which psychologists believe is linked to the fact that at four, girls tend to have better social reason-

ing skills, empathy, fine motor skills and language — though the latter evens out by six or seven.

SOME young children can’t resist a treat, even if they’ve been promised they’ll get two later as a reward for waiting. Through neuroimaging, researchers understand why. While they understand the benefits of holding on, the brain region for controlling automatic impulse is still a work in progress. As this part of the brain develops, a child’s ability to resist temptation improves.

BUT they do have empathy. By the age of two, children have a sense of self-awareness, while by three, they are starting to see the consequences of their actions on others. By four, while children still struggle to regulate their own emotions, they are developing empathy for others’ feelings.

LYING relies on ‘theory of mind’ — the ability to understand that other people have their own points of view. It isn’t until you have a solid grasp of this, after age of four, that you can tell a whopper.