Ephraim Hardcastle
PRINCE Philip is coming out of retirement for Saturday’s Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance at the Royal Albert Hall, and Princess Anne is dashing back from a day of Armistice Day ceremonies to attend, but it hasn’t attracted Princes William and Harry. Although he’s the future head of the Armed Forces, William is watching Wales play Australia in a rugby international at Cardiff. Forces hero Harry will be at Twickenham for the England versus Argentina rugger match. Since that game will be over by 5pm, Harry could still be at the Royal Albert Hall. If not, sadly it’ll be the second year in a row he’s missed the festival. A generational sentiment? FRUITY broadcaster Kirstie Allsopp, 46, due to appear on tonight’s edition of BBC1’s Question Time, frets: ‘I’m seriously thinking about chickening out, so many potential questions this week I can’t keep up.’ What nonsense. When the well-nourished sex goddess appeared on the show in 2015, her fellow guest, the so-called comedian Steve Coogan, claimed people who attended private schools ‘end up being Tories’. Kirstie pointed out that Coogan was perched next to Labour’s privatelyeducated posh Leftie Harriet Harman, who went to St Paul’s Girls’ School. FORMER Lib Dem MP Lembit Opik, 52, has been publicly dumped by his girlfriend, Bulgarian lawyer Sabina Vankova, 33, (she accuses him of canoodling with another woman), after she had his first child in June. He had feared that fathering a child would prove impossible, announcing: ‘In 1971, I had a very serious accident when I fell 10ft out of a tree, impaled myself on a stick and damaged my private parts. That could have meant I was sterile.’ Thank goodness the Opik line is now secure! PRINCE Charles’s handlers moved swiftly to distance him from day-to-day management of the Duchy of Cornwall after lurid stories about tax avoidance in the Caribbean. But perhaps they should also have amended the duchy’s website, which says: ‘The current Duke is actively involved in running the Duchy…’ WHEN Lord Archer wanted to buy the freehold of his Thames penthouse in 1993, he employed his neighbour, the songwriter Bill ‘Congratulations’ Martin, as middle man. Martin, 78, says in his new memoir (called Congratulations, naturally) that when Lord Archer offered him a 20 per cent arrangement fee, he asked for the offer in writing, only to be told: ‘My word is my bond.’ Martin adds: ‘And did I get any money? No, of course not. But maybe he’ll read this book and honour his commitment... and a pig may fly past his penthouse window.’ THE curious Israeli ‘holiday’ of ex-Tory Cabinet minister Priti Patel, who spent most of her time meeting top politicians including the prime minister, is a coup for the BBC’s Old Etonian diplomatic correspondent James Landale, 48, who broke the story. He lost out to Laura Kuenssberg for the political editorship in 2015.